It's Not the Answer.

It's the break of dawn, up early today, wasn't able to sleep all night. Everything is getting harder. I'm trying to keep my weight, get straight A's and just be perfect, it's what my mom wants. All the pressure can be hard, but I can get through this, like always. I'm finishing my homework at five in the morning and it sucks, but the skies are beautiful.

After homework I go downstairs and grab a chocolate chip granola bar. It might be yummy but it has about 140 calories. I put it beside my backpack and go to grab my books I left up stairs. I glance at the time and see that I should be leaving for school now. But just as I'm about to leave, my mom comes down stopping me at the door. "What do you think you're doing?" She rudely questioned.

"Going to school?"

"Well, you haven't eaten anything yet. How do you think you can do well in school without breakfast!"

"I'll be fine Mom, bye!" as I rushed out the door.

I got to school just as my friends were going in. I ran to catch up with them at the school doors.
We walked in as my friends updated me on the latest gossip, I see my science teacher, "Mrs. Roberts," I call, while I walk towards her, "I'll see you guys later!" I turn to tell my friends. I hand her my report and go to the gym for cheer before the girls get there and have to wait for me.

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I get home after school, and grab an apple before starting my homework. I have to do a lab assignment, book essay, math questions, and a geography assignment, but that's only for school. I also have to make a cheer routine and a bunch of other extra-curricular I have to run. "Winter Alexis Brooks!" my mom yells.

"What Mom?" She's always yelling at me for dumb reasons.

"I told you, you had to pick up your brother," Anger started to build in me; she always blames me for what she didn't do. "Just because you have good looks, it doesn't mean you can get away with things, at least not with me!"

I grab my books and run upstairs to my room and slam the door not wanting to deal with my mother. I drop my books by my bed and grab the remote to my stereo, and blast my music. I can't stand my mom sometimes, she can get so annoying! She always thinks that I get my way because of my looks, and that's only because she wants to have my dad's baby blue eyes, blonde hair and my height. I lie on my bed and notice a sparkle of light that draws my eye coming from my jewellery box. I get back up and go towards it. I reach for it and cut my thumb, it was sharp and shiny. It was a piece of sharp metal. The cut was bleeding, not a lot but it still was. The piece of metal felt good against my skin. I wipe the blood away and pick up the metal, not scared to cut myself again. I never thought I would do this but I took the metal cleaned it off and sat back down. I brought it against my wrist gently and pulled across, it gave me a nice clean cut, it felt amazing; I felt all the pressure wash away like the blood dripping out of my wrist. I always hear things about people cutting and always thought it was bad and gross, but it actually feels really good. If anyone ever found out I cut myself and it got back to my mother, I don't think I could ever live it down. I hide the piece of metal in my drawers, and go to wash off the blood without my mom catching me.

It's been 2 weeks since I started cutting, and it's gotten worse. I cut at least once every day. I start to find new places to cut that I can hide and no one will see. My brother has almost caught me a couple times, and a couple of my girls almost saw my scars. I look over my homework, I've been getting more and more every day. I don't think I can take it any longer especially since my mom has been pressuring me to do and look better every minute. I started ignoring my mom; I don't care how I look anymore.

I hide my scars and go downstairs for dinner. "Glad you could join us," my mom says without looking. I grab a seat and start to eat.

"So I've noticed that you haven't been working out as much anymore," my dad finally says breaking the silence. I nod and continue eating, "how is everything?"