Right With You

19

Chapter Nineteen
Misunderstanding

I wiped my tears as I took my crutches with me. Lumabas ako para sundan si Seah. Mabuti na lang naabutan ko pa siya sa may open parking area. Sa sobrang inis ko kinuha ko yung mga snow na nasa ibabaw ng isang kotse at binato ang likod niya.

"Gago ka pala eh!" malakas kong sigaw na ikinaharap niya. "Get inside, Selena! It's snowing-" "Ang gago mo!" sigaw ko pa at binato na naman siya.

"Sa tingin mo ba hindi ko pinaghirapan yon?!" ng mapatigil siya sa paglapit sa akin. "Selena, let's talk inside. It's snowing-" I quickly cut her off.

"I know it was planned from the start that a stand-in actor will act the performance." I clenched my fist so hard trying to suppress my anger at her.

"I practice that performance with my stand-in ever since I came here in Korea but during rehearsal I told Mavi that I wanted to do it. We double check every of my safety harness and it was all fine." seryosong sabi ko sakanya ng tumango siya. "Selena-" lalapit ulit sana siya pero umatras ako.

I don't want her near me. I don't want her to come near me because I might break down. I mastered all my strength to say all of my feelings. Not now. I can't be weak right now.

"We could've perfectly shot that scene if it wasn't because of an accident. Kaya sa tingin mo ginusto ko rin ba yung nangyari?" as my voice broke. I can feel the warm liquid forming from my eyes but I tried not to let those tears fall.

Wag muna. This is not the time for me to be fragile and weak. Gusto ko lang sabihin lahat ng nararamdaman ko saka ako aalis.

"I wanted badly to finish our shoot even after the accident because that's how dedicated I am. I can fucking endure the pain-" "No." ng maunahan niya ako habang umiiling. "You could've died!" malakas niyang sigaw sa akin.

"I told you it was an accident! I had my harness on me-" I cried with frustration. "And what if you missed it huh?" nagkatitigan kami ng matagal.

I understand her concern and responsibility since I am one of her cast but nothing bad happened. I'm just wearing a brace and I can take it off whenever I need to shower or something.

Okay parin naman ako ah? Ano bang ikinagagalit niya? Hindi naman siya yung nasaktan!

"I wanted to perfect my scene with me on it." malakas kong sigaw pabalik. "No. You don't understand. You don't fucking understand! It's not about the fucking scene! Fuck! It's not about that!" galit niyang sabi ng huminga ito ng malalim.

"I could've drop the scene if it was too difficult from the stand-in point of view. That's why the whole team had a rehearsal while I was on the meeting. Walang problemang nangyari ang sinabi ni Mavi so we proceeded with the shoot only to find out it was you during their rehearsal until the shoot." diing sabi niya.

I know, it was our mistake because we didn't inform her that I'm the one who performed the act.

"You still don't get it? You're too reckless, Selena! You might think that's heroism trying to finish our shoot but it's fucking stupid." my jaw dropped.

Fucking what?

Stupid?

Napabuga ako ng hangin sa narinig ko. Hindi ako makapaniwalang tumingin sakanya.

"And hearing more of your excuses... As your director, I am so disappointed at you." sabay lapit na sa akin.

"You'd do that for what? To flip the table around and be accepted or acknowledged by your fans. You wanted the public to side with you and not with Raphael. All of these fucking things for your fucking stupid media play." galit niyang sabi.