[A/n: It was like 4:30 in the morning when I was writing this, so apologies in advanced if something don't make sense. I'm tired as fuck right, I'm gonna lure down for like a hour or ya know forever. Enjoy!]
A shot of Heaven's golden gates. The gates open and "Cherub Towne" is shown. Cletus flies in front of the camera.
Cletus: Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!
The Cherubs begin singing the C.H.E.R.U.B. Jingle.
Cuts to a man jumping out of an airplane. He pulls the ripcord to release his parachute, only for it to snap off instead. He splats onto a rock while a censoring cloud bubble reads "OWIE!"
Collin: ♫ Does it make you want to cry? ♫
Cuts to another person getting run over by a speeding train from a tunnel as "Oh No!" appears in a censor cloud.
Keenie: ♫ When your loved one has to die? ♫
It goes to another man who accidentally shoots himself in the face with a shotgun. "Oopsie!" is seen in another censor cloud.
Cletus: ♫ Does it hurt you through and through? ♫
Clip shows a struggling man's face turning blue in a hangman's noose. A stylized version of Cletus's head fades into view with a sad face and a tear running down his cheek.
All: ♫ When your face is turnin' bluuuuue? ♫
Collin: ♫ Well, luckily for you... ♫
Keenie: ♫ There's somethin' we can do! ♫
Cletus: ♫ We can help keep them alive, ♫
All: ♫ So you can watch them thrive! ♫
The orange C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears with a registered trademark symbol. The letters appear as they are sung.
All: ♫ 'Cause here at C.H.E... R.U.B.! ♫
Cletus rescues a woman from a pack of wild animals. Keenie pushes a scared Collin in front of them, as he holds a plank of wood with a nail in it.
Collin: ♫ We'll save your honeybun from dying violently! ♫
All: ♫ 'Cause here at C.H.E....R.U.B.! ♫
Cletus is shown waving a dismissive hand at a person handing him a handful of dollar bills.
Keenie: ♫ No, we never even ask a fee! ♫
Collin and Keenie give each other a hug in a yellow heart background.
Collin: ♫ Because good people spread the love! ♫
Small hearts of light spread out around a spinning Earth in space.
Keenie: ♫ And we're here for all above! ♫
A stressed Collin rapidly writes on piles of paperwork in an office.
Cletus: ♫ We do the paperwork for you! ♫
Keenie lifts a boulder from a woman trapped under and flattened by a boulder, who gives her a thumbs up.
Collin: ♫ And the heavy liftin', too! ♫
The three Cherubs comfort a horribly wounded man after a car crash. he is bleeding profusely from a neck wound.
Cletus: ♫ So sit right back ♫
YOU ARE READING
Blood Ties (Helluva Boss x Reader)
AcciónDuring a rainy night, the prince of the Goetia, Stolas, was doing a casual stroll until he came upon a box. Curious, he opened it to find a baby imp, abandoned by its mother and father. Taking pity on the poor thing, Stolas made the decision to take...
