Paralyzed

Chapter 13 : Kicked out of the band?

Chapter 13

The next day...    

Riker POV

I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack all day. And I never got panic attacks before the accident. So they're extra scary because I'm not used to them.

I just couldn't stop thinking about last night. Avery kept looking at me, like she knew what I was thinking about and wanted me to stop, but didn't want to yell at me.

"You mentioned you wanted to take a bath today. Would you like to do that now?" Avery asked.

"Yeah, I guess..."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just annoying. I wish I could just shower. But I can't stand."

"Well they make chairs for the shower. We could order one."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'll look for one."

Avery took me to the bathroom so I could change into my swimsuit. Once I was done, she filled the bathtub and helped me get in. Dad wants her to be with me basically at all times, so she just sat on the floor while I washed myself. But to be honest, I didn't really mind. I have more concerning things to be annoyed about.

"Riker?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still thinking about what happened last night?"

I sighed.

"Avery, what if I never get better? What is that going to mean? What am I going to do? I'll probably get kicked out of the band. I probably won't have an acting career. I'll literally be useless! No, I'll be worse than useless. I'll be something that my family has to deal with since I can't take care of myself."

"Riker, none of this is true. At the very least, you'll get better at doing things for yourself and you won't need as much help."

"If my family is willing to leave me to go on tour after I just became paralyzed, how do you know they won't just ship me away to some place that will take care of me so they don't have to?"

"Because they won't, Riker. You're panicking. None of this is going to happen. Wasn't your brother Ross taking care of you before they left?"

"Yeah."

"So then that's what will happen when they get back. Unless you're better."

"They'll get tired of taking care of me."

"Why don't you call Ross and talk to him?"

Avery got my phone and handed it to me. So I called Ross. He picked up immediately.

"Riker, dad said you had a rough night. Are you ok?"

"No. Can I ask you some stuff? Are you busy?"

"Um... We're sort of in the middle of soundcheck... But it doesn't matter. Ask me."

"If I don't get better by the time you get home from tour, are you still going to take care of me?"

"Of course. Why is that even a question?"

"Because I'm scared, Ross."

"Of what?"

"Everything! I'm scared of more of my body becoming paralyzed. Or never recovering or walking again. And getting kicked out of the band. And-"

"Wait. Riker, you're not getting kicked out of the band. We're literally a band because of you. It won't matter if you can walk or not. We can get you a chair and you can sit on stage with us and still play concerts. But we're not kicking you out."

"Promise?"

"I promise! It's not happening."

"What if I never recover?"

"How have things been so far?"

"I don't really think I've improved. I need help with so many things. I don't know what I'm going to do, Ross."

"Hold on. Dad's yelling at me... I'm talking to Riker! Give me 5 minutes!"

"Do you guys even miss me?"

"Of course we do, Riker. It's not the same without you. Not even close."

"Have you said anything to the fans?"

"We said you're dealing with something right now, and that's why you're not on tour, and that you might talk about it in the future. But that's it. We haven't said anything about your injury."

"Ok. Good. I don't know if I'm going to tell them. This is all still really new."

"I know. It's fine. Take your time. And if you don't want to tell them, you don't have to. So why'd you call? Is there something you wanted to talk about?"

"It's just... Are you going to get sick of taking care of me?"

"No. You're my brother, Riker. That's what siblings do for each other. Is that really what you've been worried about? That no one will help you when we get home from tour?"

"And getting kicked out of the band..."

"Riker, of course we'll help you when we get back. And we're not kicking you out of the band. I promise. Remember when I made you promise you'd try to have a positive mindset?"

"Yeah..."

"Well I need you to work on that. I know it's hard. I know you're still adjusting to this new life. But I really need you to try to stay positive and optimistic. If you stay positive, you'll be more motivated to try to recover."

"I promise, I'm trying. You don't understand how hard this is! And then to be away from all of you on top of everything!"

"I know. Just text me if you're missing me, ok? We have a lot of free time. We can talk if you need to."

"Ok. Thank you."

"Do you feel any better?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I have to get back to soundcheck before dad kills me. Text me if you need me, ok?"

"Ok. Thank you."

"Of course. Bye, Riker."

"Bye."

Riker handed his phone back to me.

"See? Your family cares about you. And if you don't recover, they'll still help you."

"I just really want to be able to walk again."

"I know. We'll work on it, Riker. I'll do everything I can."

"Thanks."