Hate You - LN

29 - Devin

"So where does it hurt?" I start as Lando sits down on his massage bench in his small driver's room. Unlike the race tracks before, this room is particularly small and without a window, the cramped space is borderline claustrophobic.

"Up here a bit, it's not too bad though," he raises his opposite unharmed arm and points to the back of his shoulder right around where the tear was in the first place and I frown. "It doesn't hurt bad, that means it's not injured bad right?" Lando's voice is laced with anxiety and I know it's likely the adrenaline coming down that's masking any pain he's in so I shake my head and he looks defeated.

"It might be or might not be injured again, with the adrenaline you won't know," I walk over to the bench, standing to the side of his legs. "Here, hold your arm out let me see."

I place my fingers lightly on the underside of his elbow and lift it slowly to show him the movement I want him to do. Lando hesitates as if he's nervous to see my reaction but then helps me to raise his arm. That is until the joint is level with his shoulder and he inhales a sharp intake of breath.

"Fuck," he curses. I look up from his shoulder to his face. He's looking away from me and down at the floor with his face scrunched up in pain. The crease between his eyebrows is wrought tight and his top lip is pulled up and his eyes are shut. I let out a slow exhale and helped him to lower his arm back to the bench. "It's bad right, fuck it's bad. I just took the curb too hard and the car went around, it was a rookie mistake. I should have never thought to take that line."

"Lan, relax," I cut him off but he doesn't look up. "You're not back to square one, just back to right around where you were at the start of the year. I don't think anything is completely re-torn."

Lando's shoulders deflate and he winces again. His face is angled towards the floor as if the dirty tiles are something to admire. I let go of him walked the step across the room and pulled out the rolling chair from underneath the small desk. I move it so I can sit in front of him. The massage bench he sits on is much taller than the chair, and me. So I can look up at his face. Although I can see the way his brows are scrunched together and his lips are pressed thin, I can't see his eyes or the emotions running behind them because he keeps them shut. No hint of the usual green.

I exhale a deep breath, "You'll be all right Lan. You were doing great with the exercises before, and all the movements I gave you. It's all the same."

"Except I just fucking hit the reset button," he groans and brings one hand up to rub his face. He still doesn't look at me.

"It will heal."

There is a long minute of silence and Lando slowly nods his head. "Have you ever had this kind of injury?" I flinch but cover up the movement by simply tightening my ponytail at the back of my head, pulling it tight so my scalp slightly stings. "Stubborn ones that won't heal I mean?"

I shake my head, my ponytail swaying on my neck although I doubt he sees the movement. "No, most of my injuries were, well they weren't tendons I suppose."

He offers me a slow nod and he seems to muddle over what to say next. I'm about to start talking about his shoulder, what he can do to start things off and what I'm going to tell Jon to help him before qualifying. But he speaks again, silencing every coherent thought in my head. "What happened to you Dev?" Lando's words are little more than a whisper.

Lando's been nicer to me lately but that doesn't mean that I trust him. How can I? Sure, the note on the fridge, the food, my embarrassing almost panic attack I had in front of him because I thought somehow he'd found out about my dad. That's all him being nicer, but it all seems so- superficial, or surface. I don't know what he's thinking, why he wants to know what happened to me so badly. What if he's just curious, but he doesn't care more than figuring out the mystery scars on my body? For much longer than he's been nice to me, he's been rude and given me no reason to trust him like I used to.