the sky says | heejake ✓

y

Sunghoon levels him with a glare from across the table, slowly sipping on his banana smoothie. Jake shifts uncomfortably in his seat, his gaze darting around the dimly lit coffee shop. The warmth of the afternoon sun struggles to penetrate the darkened corners, casting long shadows across the floor. He wants nothing more than to disappear into one of those shadows, to lose himself in the anonymity of the city.

"You're hooking up with Heeseung again?" Sunghoon asks after a moment. Jake's gaze snaps back to him.

"I'm not." Jake tries to keep his voice steady, but it comes out as little more than a squeak. He shoves a hand through his already disheveled hair, tugging at the ends. "We're just friends. He's been really supportive lately, that's all."

"So you definitely didn't come back to the apartment with that big fucking bruise on your neck?" he taunts, raising one of his thick eyebrows in question. 

Jake glares at him, his fingers curling into fists beneath the table.

"Remind me what you did there for two days again? You surely didn't just sleep the entire time, right?" 

Jake glowers at Sunghoon, but he's sure it doesn't hold as much heat as he wants it to. "Mind your own business, okay? If I want to hook up with Heeseung then I will."

Sunghoon sighs, pushing his drink away. "I'm not angry at you, Jake. I'm just worried about you, you know that."

"There's nothing to worry about," Jake grumble, looking down at the table. "I'm just... I'm just trying to figure stuff out, you know? I don't want to lose him again." 

"That's exactly what you said last time. And then he shut you out and ignored you for more than half a year," Sunghoon says gently, his eyes never leaving Jake's face. "I don't want to see that happen again. I just want you to be happy."

Jake looks down at the table, the lump in his throat growing larger. "I know. I just... Heeseung is... he's an important part of my life, okay? And I—I need him. I don't know what's wrong with me," Jake says, voice breaking. "Why can't I just be normal again?"

Sunghoon reaches across the table, gently taking Jake's hand in his own. "Hey, it's not your fault, okay? You've been through a lot of shit that would make even the strongest person weep. And you will get better. You will feel normal again. But you can't do that if you keep going back to him like this."

"I know," Jake whispers, squeezing Sunghoon's hand. "I just want to have him in my life, you know? Anyway I can. Even if I have to fight tooth and nail for it. I don't want to lose him again."

Sunghoon sighs, shaking his head. "You don't have to fight for it, Jake. You shouldn't have to fight for it. If he wants you there, then you can stay on your own accord. But you can't keep letting him walk all over you. You deserve better than that."

Jake looks up at Sunghoon, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I know, Hoon... I just want him to see me as more than... than something that needs to be taken care of. I want him to look at me like—like how you look at me."

"And how do I look at you," Sunghoon asks softly. 

"Like I'm normal. Like I'm not some fragile shell of a person that needs to be catered to and looked after."

Sunghoon's expression softens as he squeezes Jake's hand. "I see you as my best friend, Jakey. I see all of you. The good and the bad. I see your strength and your vulnerability. I see the fighter in you, and I see the parts of you that are still broken. But I don't pity you. I don't want to fix you. I just want to be there for you, as your friend."