Deepest secrets

3. Chapter

Lydia
02.12.2020

The next morning, I opened my eyes and the previously dark room was bright. The sun was shining and I could hear birds chirping. My room seemed much bigger than before and the hospital seemed livelier than the night before. I looked around and saw John talking to a man. He was upset. So I decided to talk to him. Before I even wanted to go to him and get out of bed, which was surprisingly difficult for me, he noticed me.

Before, when he was speaking with the man, he seemed worried and sad, but when he turned to me he smiled again. As if he wanted to hide his sadness from me. He came to me.

"Good morning."
"M-morning. Who was the man you just spoke to?"
"That was your doctor, Lydia. He came to check on you."
"Then why did he leave?"
"Because I had already done that. Did you hear what we were talking about?"
"No, I can hardly hear anything in here"
"okay"

It was quiet for a while and neither of us said anything. I was afraid of asking anything. I was scared to hear something, I didn't want to hear.
He then stood up and told me to wait a moment.
I nodded. There was also a clock in my room.
A digital one that I could read. It was 9:00 a.m. when John left. After 7 minutes he was back. He had food with him and put it on the table, which was one meter away in front of my bed.

He took a bed tray and put it in front of me. He put the tray with the food on the bed tray. He pointed to the food "Eat. You must be hungry." I looked at him first, nodded and then looked at the food. An apple, a banana, yogurt and a roll with jam spread. I only took the yogurt and the roll. "I just want this." "Okay. You, Lydia, should I stay? You must be confused."

When he said that, I remembered that I should be curious and ask him what actually happened, where I actually was and that I should actually be confused. However, I didn't behave like a child at all. I can't remember exactly, but I do remember how I started eating without answering him.
After I had finished eating, I saw him reading the magazine that was lying next to me. So I asked him.

"Why did you stay? I didn't answer? Should you stay or go?"
He smiled.
"Because I know you're confused. I wanted to answer your questions."

That calmed me down a bit at the time. So I started.

"Yesterday you said that my name was Lydia. And that I had a brother. And that I had had an accident and was now in the hospital. But that doesn't answer why I can't remember anything. I can't remember anything. Nothing. H-Help... I-I can't remember anything-" Only then did I recover from the shock and start crying like a normal child.

I had been shocked the day before, which is why I reacted abnormally and hardly cried. That had irritated John at the time. But this time it was different. I cried and cried. I saw no way out at that time, because no matter what I tried to think about, I didn't remember anything. Nothing. My head was empty. I had nothing. No memories at all. I had also simply stopped talking. I hadn't even finished my sentence. I just started crying.

John put his hand on my shoulder and said:
"Finally, you're crying too. When you've calmed down, I'll explain everything to you."

Back then, after he said that, I felt something familiar about him. I wasn't sure, but it seemed to me as if I had known John for a long time. However, I thought this was impossible at the time because I was only ten years old.

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How are you? Thanks for reading this. You're the only one and I am really thankful for that. <3