The Girl I Hate

Chapter 3

I stood there, silent. It never occurred to me that she might be hiding the fact that she isn't single. She never mentioned this to anyone, and only visits him at night. Technically, it's a secret and only someone who's stalking her would know.

"W-Well, you're quite pretty and famous, so of course you have a b-boyfriend..." I blurt out some random excuse. I turned back to face her, and gave her a very awkward smile.

She eyed me suspiciously, then turned around and entered the kitchen.

I was trembling. That moment was the scariest moment of my life, even scarier than when my dad would hit me, or my mum lock me in the closet, so she could whore around with the men she invites to our old, crusty house.

I decided I should work on my obsession; this is true madness and I feel like I might hurt her at some point. I realised I'm obsessed with her because she gave my life a purpose. I always spent my days idling by, doing knowing but hoping for it all to end. I never had the courage to kill myself, but it's not like I wanted to live either. I was lonely for as long as I remember. Ever since I was young, I never had any friends, not even neighbours I could play with. My relatives cut my family off and my parents were, well, fucked up in their own ways.

This very woman whom I despise gave me reason to look forward to the next day. I know it's twisted, I know it's evil and I know I should stop before things could progress any further.

But I don't want to, nor do I plan to. At least, not in the near future.

I finished work that day, then proceeded to follow her. I don't know where she was going, but it didn't seem like she was heading to her apartment or to her boyfriend's house. I continued to follow her, then she stopped at a mall.

And there he was, the man who I despise.

Her boyfriend got out of a nice, polished car and gave her a kiss on the cheek. They held hands before going inside.

My heart sank.

I always knew she was dating someone, and I'm perfectly aware of it. I also saw her go inside his house really late into the night only to leave at around 6 AM the next morning. I'm sure she did things with him more intimate than holding hands.

But it still broke me.

She was smiling at him, not me.

My mind was filled with thoughts about how much I wanted to break off his wrist. I was so enraged I stormed into the fancy mall without thinking. When I entered, it was more than obvious that I do not belong here. Everything was so shiny and put together, but I looked like I just came out of prison.

I followed them around as they went to restaurants and cafes, entered random shops and joked around like a normal, happy couple would do.

I followed them around a bit more, when suddenly, she was alone in front of an electronics store, looking at her Nokia. I didn't see her boyfriend around, which somehow made me uneasy. I turned around to hide since I had a bad feeling, only to see him standing behind me.

"Who are you?" He asked in a husky voice.

I didn't say anything, I just looked at him with soulless eyes.

How does it feel to be loved by her? Was what I wanted to ask.

"Just get out of the way." I said as I tried walking past him, but he violently grabbed my arm and dragged me to where she was standing.

No! No! No! If she finds out I'm stalking her, I would be done for!!!

"Honey, what took you so lo-

She stopped talking when she saw my face, and her expression was that of shock, mixed with horror and confusion.

"This creepy dude was following us, well, you to be exact, the moment we entered the mall." He threw me to the side and stood beside his girlfriend.

She turned to look at me, and she seemed scared, since she tightly held onto her boyfriend's arm.

I couldn't look her in the eyes, so I just looked at the floor, ashamed.

"...Why?"

She said with a voice mixed with sorrow.

I was sure I wanted to hurt her, I was sure I wanted to see her in pain. Why did her sorrowful voice break my heart? I mean, I don't think I will ever stop bullying or tormenting her, but seeing her look so betrayed...

I had mixed feelings, I can't put my finger on it, but I know I wasn't happy with this outcome.

"Answer her before I call the police, you creep." That man's voice cut through my cloud of thoughts.

Right.I have to get myself out of this before even thinking of my sorting out my feelings.