The New ME

Chapter 1

I stared at the two people who I trust the most. The people who I loved; the people who I thought were always there for me. And yet...

Cindy smiled at me sweetly— too sweet, in fact, it was kind of disturbing. She played a strand of her hair as she approached me with slow steps. As I stood, I couldn't help but think back to all the times we spent together, the happy days, the good days. Was that all a lie?

The answer stood in front of me. How could I be so stupid not to see it?

Cindy pulled her hand back and slapped me. I gasped, putting a hand to my cheek. As tears formed in my eyes, I took a glance at my boyfriend. He just looked so happy. So satisfied.

"Why?" I asked them.

"You ask why?" Cindy rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "You're fat, that's why. You're boring, that's why. You're such a crybaby, that's why. Should I continue, my dear best friend?"

Tears fell from my eyes as they looked at me like I was an ant. I looked at Evan, my boyfriend, and asked, "I thought you love me. Why do this to me?"

Evan shrugged. "I don't know why I said that, when I don't feel anything but hate to you. I hate you from the very first time I saw you. I really do hate you," he answered. "Also, the one I really love is Cindy, not you. It was only to get close to Cindy that I approached you. Nothing else."

It was like my heart was stabbed a hundred times when he said those words. I did everything to make him happy. I gave him everything, and yet...

"Oh, and it's because you don't want to sleep with me, Amelia."

I sniffed and nodded. "Okay. Okay." Then I walked away from them, not looking back, with my tears kept falling down my face.

I arrived to my apartment with a blank face. My walk back here made me think a lot of things, and as I did, the hurt that I felt in my heart made me feel numb. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I wanted it all to end.

When I thought that I cried it all out, I was mistaken. My tears started to fall once again when I went to the kitchen and pulled out a knife. I gripped it tightly while putting it on my wrist. I sobbed when I remembered what they said to me. I really thought they're my precious people. But they betrayed me.

I feel so heartbroken and betrayed.

With just one slice, blood poured out from my wrist. I stared at it blankly, watching it drip down to the floor. Call me weak, whatever, but I just want this feeling to end. To just not feel at all.

My head started spinning and was about to fall back when I felt two firm hands held me by my shoulders. My vision was slowly turning black when I looked at who it was.

'Such a beautiful man...' I thought before blacking out.

Cindy and I grew up in a town 25 kilometers from the city. We're far from being neighbors since my house was distance from hers but we became the best of friends the moment we sat next to each other in class. And ever since then, we became best friends.

When we graduated high school, we decided to go to the city for college. But my parents couldn't afford to send me to college so I backed out of our decision to go to college, and instead, I decided to work. Cindy was sad that we're not going to the same college and that I wasn't going to the city to work. But I told her to keep in touch with her.

A few weeks of me looking for a job in our town, I finally found one. I worked as a make up artist in one of the salons there. The pay was not that high, but I think it was enough for me to get by. The people in that salon were good and fun to be with, so it didn't make me feel lonely since Cindy's gone.

Every weekend, I called Cindy and we talked a lot of things. From the latest celebrity happenings to our own lovelife. At that time, I've never met Evan. It was when I came to visit Cindy in the city for a few days that I met him.

Evan was a good man—or so I thought. We met at a coffee shop and he was fun to talk to. I was waiting for Cindy that time and I was bored, just scrolling through my phone when he approached me. He asked for my number and I gave it to him.

We became a couple not long after. I fell for him hard and whenever he asked for something, I gave it to him—well, except for my first time. I wasn't ready. Besides, I believe in doing it after marriage, so I always say no. It was at that time that he met Cindy. And I didn't know they hit it off behind my back.

To have your trust destroyed like that... 'I don't think I could trust again. I don't think I could love again...' I thought as I opened my eyes. I blinked, still feeling tired as I glanced around the room. Then I realized I was in a hospital room. 'What happened to me?'

"You're just trying to kill yourself, you know?"

I looked to my left and saw the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my entire life. It was like he was a model straight from a magazine. He was giving me a frown as he looked at me with arms crossed. Then I realized what he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to sit up. I flinched when I felt a sting on my left wrist and looked at it. There really was bandage around it. So I really did try to kill myself.

"Do you remember now?" the man asked, standing up and approaching me. He gently took my wrist and looked at it for a few seconds before looking back at me. "You don't deserve this, you know."

I pulled my hand back and asked, "What do you know?"

He sighed and sat down to a chair next to my bed. He crossed his arms and thought for a while. Then he answered, "Actually, I don't know the whole story. But I can tell you, you really don't deserve this."

I looked away and thought about the times Evan and I were together. So he was faking all of it? We looked so happy, he looked so happy when he was with me. Was it all an act, really?

"I do deserve to die," I said tearfully.

I heard him sigh and asked, "Why do you always say that?"

I looked at him and frowned. "Can't you see? I'm... I'm fat. I'm stupid. I'm a joke." Then tears fell down my face.

He frowned. "I can't see your point, Miss. What's wrong with being fat? It's not the physical points that make one look attractive, you know. It's the heart that makes one look attractive and beautiful," he said. "Is that what they said to you?"

I didn't answer. I just looked away from him. I thought there was something wrong with me. Why would I tell him my problems anyway? 'I don't even know him.'

Suddenly the door opened, and a doctor walked in. He gave me a smile upon seeing me and approached me. He told me a lot of things I should do and avoid but I didn't listen to him. I was looking at the man sitting next to my bed, and it seemed that the doctor didn't see him. The man was listening to him intently and sometimes nodding his head. I blinked up at the doctor, and nodded and smiled up at him before he walked out of the room.

Then a thought hit me and I blanched. I looked at the man and he smiled. "Wait. How'd you walk in my apartment? I remembered, I locked it when I got in. So how...?"

"Good question. I actually don't know," he answered, laughing a bit.

"Then the doctor didn't even look at you... It was like he didn't even see you..." Then my heart raced as I blanched again. I felt scared, really scared. "Please don't tell me..."

He shrugged and didn't say anything else.

Oh Lord, please help me...!

*****