The Gym Teacher (Negan Fan-Fic)

Words and Whispers

I look outside my window, another rainy and cloudy day here in Alaska. Every day, just wishing that school would never come, but it will no matter how much I didn't want to go. My depression hieghtens, and I can't seem to balance my emotions. Sometimes, I just want to fall into the black hole of the sheets in my bed. It seems neverending, but i always get over it. This cycle is taunting, and I hope there will be something or someone who can save me from this absolute torture of thoughts running in my head at maximum speed. Deep breaths they say but I feel like I can't breathe no longer than just for a second. You ask why I feel like this well it's as simple as this I have no friends no life everyday feels the same and I'm jealous of everyone else because they all have relationships and beautiful lives but I have no one and no one will ever want to be with me because well I am just too boring or maybe people are just scared or shy to talk to me. Or maybe just nobody cares about me at all, and I am really just a lone and lost soul drifting away in the river, the blue and misty River. It's been 3 days and there's only 5 days left of my summer and I don't know what to do in these last few days. Maybe I should go to the mall and make some new friends or just sit on my phone and scroll endlessly. Why is my life so pointless and dull. Why can't I be more interesting and just get someone to like me for God's sake! Just one more day and then I'll be back to the place I like to call my prison not because I hate school well I do but because I don't have anyone to talk to and life feels senseless at this point. I'm planning on going to the mall but ill have to ask. "Hey mom is it okay if I go to the mall?" "Yeah sure are you going with some friends?" "Yeah" I lie because I know if i say no, she'll be disappointed and be ask, why are you going to the mall all alone? I get there and I already want to leave because I won't talk to anyone nobody will be there to talk to me and have a genuine conversation with me I'll just be walking around doing nothing but I gotta try. I walk in there, and I see a group of girls my age, and I go up to them. I say "Hey I'm Beatrix can I walk with you guys?" "Uh sure, my name's Leah, and this is Sophia and Paige." "Hi nice to meet yall." No way I just said yall ew like what is wrong with me. We walk around and go to different types of stores when I see this guy that looks exactly like young Judd Nelson but I never end up talking to him because I was to shy and that was the dumbest decision I've made in my life. He probably could've been my boyfriend, but I was just too shy to even say a word to him. I go home and get ready for bed, and I still think about the girls and the guy I didn't talk to. I finally have some friends or acquaintances idk whatever you wanna call them. I just wish I talked to that boy, but what would I have said anyway I probably would've said something stupid, but then I at least would've tried. I'm just going to forget about it and get some rest because I really need it. The morning is gloomy once again I swear it is never nice outside like ever. I get a short pink top on with some dark blue flare jeans and my black and white adidas shoes. I put a glittery eyeshadow on and some mascara, concealer, eyebrow pencil, and blush on and head out the door. My mom comes out the door and says "Arne't you gonna eat anything?" "I'll eat at school mom ill be fine I promise." I hurry off and get onto the bus, and I finally arrive to school. I go inside and get breakfast and I notice that the girls I went to the mall with are at my school I mean what a coincidence! I go up to them and say "Hey I didn't know you guys went to my school?" "Oh hey Beatrix what a crazy coincidence it's nice to see you again sorry to leave ya but we gotta head to class." "That's ok I gotta leave as well." I head off to my first period art which I absolutely hate because I'm not good at art and I heard that we have to draw proportions and that's really hard. I head in and I sit next to a girl who wore glasses and a bright red leather jacket. The people at my table don't even say a word to each other which I thought was very weird so I said "Hi I'm Beatrix." Then there was just this long silence and that was end of the conversation. I mean how are you that nervous and shy that you can't even say hello to someone who just introduced themselves what a bunch of weirdos if you ask me. I guess I'll give them a break it's the first day of school. Usually i don't say anything to anyone and just get through all my classes but I realized that that is the reason I have depression because I never tried to talk to anyone and I'm not gonna waste highschool to be a nobody and just the girl that people know but are never friends with. The teacher says his little introduction about himself and what we're going to do in his class. He makes us all get to know each other by talking with our groups but everyone at my table was dead silent so I didn't try and talk to them because none of them would respond back to me so. The bell rings loudly almost making me go deaf in one ear it feels like and I head to my next period which is English. I was always good at English got solid A's in that class, and I just knew that I was going to like the teacher when she introduced herself to the class I mean I feel like you can just always tell. The group at my table was very talkative so that helped me make better conversation than just quietness. There was this girl who talked a lot and I mean a lot and she showed us her cute little yorkie I mean it was the cutest dog I had ever seen I just wanted to scream cause it was so adorable. After second period I wanted the day to be over and done with but then I went to my P.E class and well.... let's just say I was glad I didn't leave school that day. I walk in there with my shorts and t-shirt to see these boys screwing around playing ball. I almost wanted to join in because I always liked playing basketball in gym class it was the funnest class I had. I then almost fell down to my knees because the teacher walked in and he looked like the most hot and scrumptious guy i had ever laid eyes on. He was soooo sexy and looked like he should've been in a movie. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him I just kept staring until he straight up looked at me and said "Hey are you okay?" I looked up confused but then said "Oh uh sorry yeah I'm fine." " Did I call your name on the attendance list I don't want to mark you absent on accident." "My names Beatrix Johnsen." "Okay I got you now thanks." His voice was deep and had a raspy feel to it I could just drown myself in his deep voice. I was crushing so hard and in my mind I knew he was the one that was gonna be my somebody but it was all a dream this whole thing was just some fantasy in my head I mean why would he ever fall for me I'm a student and he's a teacher it would never happen. It's just a wet dream of mine that won't ever come true even if I really want it to and I really do it would be a 1% chance a miracle. I wanted that miracle to come true I really did and I hoped that I could have my wet dream of him be fulfilled. I thought of him and me on my bed kissing and him kissing down my neck and towards my privates. It seemed as if I could already feel him on and inside me. He did attendance and said his name was Mr. Smith but I was gonna call him Negan his first name just to make him correct me. Our 1st unit was basketball and we played a game called horse and I got teamed up with all the boys but I was completely fine with that because they were good and I was good we were the perfect team. After we played we were all by ourselves shooting hoops and I went up to the teacher and asked "Hey Negan can you show me how to make side shots better I'm really bad at them." "Mr. Smith and sure I'll show you how you can make side shots everytime." "Sorry Negan uh....I mean Mr. Smith." He gave a perky smile and you could see his dimples shine through a mile away I felt nervous and embarrassed at the same time even though I purposely said his first name. "Okay so your gonna put your fingers here like this and stand like this when you shoot and jump just enough to make the shot, got it?" He had his hands on my arms, and I almost squealed, but I stopped myself. "Yeah, I got it." I threw the ball and did exactly what he told me and the ball made it in. He said "Nice shot Bea that was pretty good." I had butterflys in my stomach he had already given me a nickname and i was longing to feel his touch again. "Thanks it was all because of you and your help." I blushed just a little and he noticed that he almost winked at me but stopped himself. 10 minutes before class was over I heard a conversation between Negan and some of the kids about the best movie ever made. Negan said "Well obviously the best movie ever made is Predator I mean nothing can compete with that." Then some other kid said "Well what about the godfather that movie was really good I don't think we're gonna find a solid answer on the best movie of all time there's just too many good ones." I said " Well what about The Breakfast Club and American Pyscho I mean John Hughes made so many masterpieces back in the day and American Pyscho is so good because of the actor and the story is amazing and very psychological. And in the end we don't even know if Paul is alive or dead those 2 movies are the best movies ever in my opinion." Negan looked at me with this shocked look because most kids my age don't watch old movies at least I don't think so anyways. "Wow impressive I'm surprised you've watched those movies but still predator is the best for me" Negan said. "There's also The Dark Knight I mean that was such a shocker for me because I thought it was just gonna be another trash batman remake movie." "That one is really good too and I gotta ask do you like old music as well or just old movies?" I gave an elegant smile and stated "I'm so glad you asked that question because yes I am absolutely obsessed with 80s music I mean I could tell you so many songs that you have never even heard of." "Alright try me lets see if you keep your word ." "Alright have you heard of Something About You by Re-Flex?" "Uh no I don't think so but I would have to listen to it to surely know." "How about Windows by Missing Persons and Hold Me Now by Thompson Twins?" "Yeah no you've lost me I have not listened to any of those." "Ha I've got you! Your not a true 80s fan like me then." "Definately not." We both smirked at each other and I felt just a teensy bit of happiness for the first time in forever. At the end of class Negan came up to me and uttered "Hey Bea or I mean Beatrix uh what would you like to be called?" "I don't care you can call me anything you want but it would be nice if you called me yours." He was frozen absolutely still and then finally he spoke "So Bea it is then um I just wanted to tell you that you did really good in class today do you play basketball here at school?" "No I just play for fun and I don't know how to play professionally." He stared into my soul with his hazel beating eyes leaning down over me along with saying "Maybe I can teach you sometime." "That would be pleasurable for me but you know what else would be pleasurable?" He then said with a deep masculine voice "What would that be love?" I leaned into his ear and whispered "If you pushed me against a wall and gave it to me hard while touching me with your rough and veiny hands." I felt out of control at this point and I was so embarrassed at what I just said I mean I said this to a teacher and I just snapped back into reality. I literally ran away and changed and went to my other classes cause I was so uneasy and felt jitters through my whole body. When I got home, I lay in bed for what seemed like hours, and I was about to go to sleep but decided that I would think of Negan and slowly lead my hand down my waist. I thought of him on top of me kissing my neck and then finally laying a soft and gentle kiss on my mouth. I then imagined him pleasuring me with his hands and his beard on my soft face.