Pilot

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[The scene opens with a shot of Hello  that slowly zooms in on the Happy Hotel. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door labeled "H.A.Z.B.I.N. Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. The light flickers as the camera zooms in on the door. Inside, Charlie  is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as she lectures her employees.]

Charlie: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... *looks at Husk* Husker.

[Husk gives her an incredulous look in response.]

Charlie: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

[Angel Dust raises his hands]

Angel Dust: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!

Charlie: Angel Dust?

Angel Dust: eyes sparkling* What about a car wash?

Charlie: This is Hell, Angel. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? *thinks for a second* Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

[She waves her hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.]

Husk: *rolls eyes* We can't afford a billboard, kid.

Charlie: *wraps her arm over Husk's shoulder* Helpful, Husk. Really glad you're in the room right now. *pushes Husk away* Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

[Charlie turns on a TV that shows the H.A.Z.B.I.N. brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Charlie whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Husk is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Alastor swings a man back and forth in his mouth, and Angel decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Alastor, Angel Dust, and Charlie eating popcorn.]

Charlie: Ahh, those were the good times.

Husk: Don't remind me, Charlie. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an stupid fucking AD last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... THAT NOBODY EVEN WATCHES!!

Charlie: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "stupid" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Angel: People love musicals, Husky.

Charlie: Exactly, Angel! And we're basically doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my mother did?

Husk: Charlie--

Charlie: 'Cause, right now? All I see is just my mom's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Angel: You tryin' to crush her dreams, Husky?

Husk: No, I wasn't-- What?

Angel: *flirtatiously* I thought I knew you.

[He playfully sticks his tongue out at him as Husk blushes and rolls his eyes.]

Charlie: I can't believe you, Husk!

[She tearfully holds up an employee of the month plaque with Husk's picture on it.]

Charlie: And after I made you employee of the month!

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