Windowsill [Ishman]

Not allowed

/T.W. Minor self-harm/

The next morning Ishan wakes up from his slumber, and it would be not wrong to call it a mini coma because he had no idea who he was when he woke up, he abruptly tries to stand but he fails in the process, just to fall face first on the ground, he groans in frustration and stands up again and he looks up to himself in the mirror, he notices how the bruise once red and swollen was gone and how a little blue patch is left as a remnant he then sees that the scratch marks on his face are now less evident but are still visible up close but his assaulted arms are the main reminder of torture they endured when Ishan was mindlessly tearing the flesh of his arm during his episode,

He can see himself now, he is again aware of his surroundings but he isn't aware of what he has become anymore, so desperate, so weak that he still wants to forgive Shubman for whatever he said,

Faggot

'Is that all that I am to him?'

He thinks to himself, and his heart drowns at the thought that the person he yearns for the most, is disgusted by him, and will never like him in the way he does,

But why did he save me then? Called me beautiful? What was it?
But he was in contradiction with his thoughts and couldn't make anything out of them,

He is pretty sure that he is being delusional by thinking that he still has any chance with Shubman and then the memories of Shubman kissing multiple girls in the corridor come to his mind as if the present incidents weren't enough to torture him,

And how can he forget the random gropings by Shubman to the girls who are willing to serve Shubman with anything on a gold platter,

He then thinks about the time, when they used to be on good terms and even used to sit at the same table during breaks,

Guess it was just meant to be like this,

He glances down at the Cartier watch gifted by his father, a gentle reminder to him that he is still blood-related to them,
the watch is working fine as ever and it strikes 6:20 a.m., but the glass is broken

'Must've broken when his wrist accidentally hit the sink in the process of stabilizing himself yesterday' he thinks

No Matter how expensive it is, it still is broken, though it can be fixed with money it will never be the same as it was,

He sits on the bathroom floor with his legs crossed and stares at the wall as if he is watching a movie through a projector on the wall, he decides to skip college as he simply can't face humans today and his hands are burning due to scratches,
He hops into the shower and lets the water cascade down his body setting the cuts on his face and arms on fire, but he just stands there emotionless, thinking maybe he deserves it for loving someone again, someone who will shatter him completely,

He then changes into an oversized white jumper that swallows him whole,
and some black short-shorts to go with it, and decide to sleep in the whole day,
He just wants to disappear for today and sleeping always does wonders for him to achieve that,

'For in dreams, we enter a world that is entirely our own. Let him swim in the deepest ocean, or glide over the highest cloud'

Suddenly his phone beeps to reveal 2 unread messages

Both from Rishabh and it read:

Yesterday

Hey man, wya? Did you head home? Is it because of Shubman?
12:30 p.m.

Today

Are you coming to college today, Ishu?
Just now