everything but him

part 1

Wannabe memories

The familiar sound of that loud truck hurt more than where I was standing, as I assumed it was not his but a stranger passing by on the dirt road outside the cemetery I was currently in but then I heard my family gasp as I felt his presence step up behind me. It was him, I knew it not only by my family's response but also by the energy and strength that I had been connected to but not experienced in his ten year absence from my life.
I wanted him here, in this moment that was so difficult. As much as my family would try to comfort me, no one had ever given me the peace he could just by standing next to Mei heard his whisper, "I'm here, im sorry it's taken me so long". I had longed for so many years to hear those words from him. The tears burnt in my eyes, and everyone knew it wasn't from the funeral but because he had shown up.
I felt his hand on my side, and I leaned back just enough to feel his support behind me. As soon as the final words of the sermon were spoken, his arm turned me to walk away with him . The friends and family all whispered, but I didn't fight, I never would have. This is what I had needed and wanted, plus we had so much to talk about.
He opened the door and helped me unto his truck since it was tall and I most definitely am not. Then, going around, he climbed in and drove us away as everyone just watched us.. he drove and drove, which felt like forever before pulling into a rustic cabin tucked in some hills. It was a beautiful place, a small but cozy dream hone with a small pond and prairie grass for the deer. He gestured for me to move closer and as I laid my head on his shoulder I could not hold the tears any longer and we just sat there, the tears feeling like they took longer than the drive.
He let me cry until I fell asleep right there next to him but I awoke to the sun rising and a knock on the window, he opened the door and handed me a coffee before giving me his hand to get down out. And as we were standing there next to one another watching the sunrise over the pond, he said something that shocked me more than his arrival at the cemetery..."You're dad left us this place jointly.