The Whispering Door

Death is an old door. Its hinges creak open as sad souls stroll in with hope all lost. There's a soft plop as a drop of water hit the riverbanks surrounding it. Set in a garden wall, the rusty door whispered softly, calling. The whispers of Death lingered in my ears, teasing me. I felt its presence around me, almost as if it was within me.

I've always wondered what the most frightening way to die was. I have heard most say that it's suffocation, but I think otherwise. I believe that it's drowning. It's because you can feel the water forcing its way down your throat and into your lungs, scraping its way down as it reaches your air, stretching your lungs until they burst. Then, that's when you feel those last seconds, or last minutes of your life trickle by, slowly, yet eagerly.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard the loud screeches of seagulls warning me of what lay ahead. Walking into the river's waters, I felt the gentle and hesitant push and pull of the water. It circled my ankles, as I waded deeper into the river. The water had suddenly become to feel like liquefied ice tugging at my knees. It willed me on even further promising me the chance at freedom, an escape, a proposal to someplace new, peace, and an opportunity to just forget everything and succumb into a deep, calming darkness.

And in an instant, memories came flooding back to me, haunting me. Those eyes with coin-weights had shut and all tears had ceased into nothing, but an angelic, pale face. Where his lips were so soft and true now lay a small smile where grief had been mute with all anger at peace. On the bed he had laid as his ankles crossed in rest. His face had read sorrow and decease all over. Then, with the spur of the moment, tears had sprung out. The pain was immeasurable; it was killing me.

I wanted to end the pain, the suffering, and the tears, too. I wanted to join him and feel his arms wrap around me once again. I wanted him back.

A cold breeze whispered in my ear, ruffling my soft pink dress and tossing my unruly brunette hair around. Goosebumps rose along my arms, making my skin twitch. Another step, it encouraged, whispering to me through the pink blueberry sky.

I hastily took a step into the cold water as it now hugged my waist, and the pebbly sand quivered under my feet contently. Diminutive waves surrounded me everywhere and the white foam swirled around me hurriedly. The salt of the water burned my nose as I stepped deeper into the river.

Take a breath and smile; the end is near. Listen to your heartbeats as they slow; another tranquil cry came from the door. The cry was everything that I wanted. It was an end and a beginning. It was calling to me.

Tilting my head up towards the sky, I looked up to see the soft, bereaved clouds, but this time it was different. This was the first time that I imagined them as the beds that I would soon lay upon.

I crossed my arms across my sorrowful chest. The water now came up to my elbows sending shivers down my spine. The cold bit at me making me feel so close to numb, but I could still feel. My heart was pounding ever so loudly.

Five more steps and that was it. Five more steps until I could meet him again. Five more steps before I could reach Death's door.

Taking a deep breath, I sunk under the harsh wrath of the ferocious waves. My brown eyes quickly shut in the waves' greed. This was more than I bargained for; I knew I didn't deserve this. I knew I was too sinful for a death so easy. The waves plucked my body up as its force held me under as forcefully as it could. They were not patient, no; they wanted me now.

I coughed trying to hold myself righteous through the torment, but that only resulted in swallowing the salty water. I thrashed everywhere hoping to reach safety. My hand broke the surface of the water, but then I was quickly thrown back under a wave of black. The water now reached my lungs, stretching them. I tried to scream; to yell, but no sound came out. Nothing came, but small bubbles encasing any sound possible.

I lost all sense of direction. How far under had I gone? The world was spinning around me. I couldn't make sense of anything. I couldn't make sense of life. I only knew one thing and one thing only. All I knew was that I had to reach the doors of Death.

How much longer did I have? Minutes? Seconds? Finally silence broke throughout me. The silence rung through my ears quieting any bit of logic I still had. I stopped thrashing. I stopped trying to breathe. I stopped trying to make sense of anything. I stopped trying. I gave up. I fell into the waters' hands. I let it take control. I let it take over. I let it permanently silence me.

My body was now completely submerged in the water. My body lay on its back of the cold oblivion. Water leaked into my ears as if to keep the memory of Death painfully intact. I could feel my body drifting down slowly; sinking. The water began to lap around me and grow calmer after the encounter of my struggling.

Why wasn't I dead yet? My lungs felt like they were going to explode. They couldn't stretch for any longer. Then, just like that, the last of my air vanished. I couldn't breathe. My eyes fluttered open quickly to take in the last of my surroundings.

My eyes fixed on the dark blue, buttery sky above me. I could just barely make out a star shining down into the water. The light reflected off a shard of silver in the water illuminating the light so that it was even brighter. Then suddenly a flock of birds passed above me. I could faintly hear their calls as they moved and with them went my hope. I took it as a sign. He was calling me over the threshold of Death's door.

The salt burned my eyes and took my vision away from me. I felt immobile. The last few seconds of life trickled out of me.

I knew that if he could see me now he would shake his head in shame and disappointment. He would think I was illogical. He would tell me that this was a stupid and a rash thing to do, but I couldn't help it. The emptiness was catching up to me. The feeling of loss was eating up inside of me.

Death was here. I was finally at its door. A bitter-sweet smile curled onto my lips as I fell into its arms. Then ever so softly, I heard one last whisper; I love you, Arabella. I know I don't deserve you, but will you love me forever and till the end? Will you do me the honor of being my bride?

All of sudden the scene changed. I fell back into the present. I was in a small garden surrounded by the presence of my friends, my family and most importantly, my love. My boyfriend, Daniel, was kneeling down in front of me whispering the most heart-shattering proposal. Screams roared up everywhere, shouting, "Say yes!"

I quickly nodded and jumped into his arms as he kissed me passionately. He then wiped away a few tears that had appeared from my eyes. His arms wrapped around me tightly, never letting me go. I smiled as he slipped a ring onto my finger, then his arms enveloped me again. That was the moment when I knew that I could never live if he wasn't there with me.

I suddenly thought back to my horrible dream, the one in which he died and I had followed sullenly after. I knew what I would do if he would ever leave me. I had always come to the conclusion that I would drown myself. I would do away with any feelings of hope. I would do anything just to be with him again. I mean, after all, Death is just an old door...