An: alastor angst, child human au,
Words, 1057
Tw: child abuse, alcoholism, sexual abuse, overall dysfunctional family
Dear diary,
You have been gifted to me by my mother, /missing text/. Mom says that I should write down the things that happen in day at night.
I think something wrong with mother she's crying again. Same time. I assume that she got hit by father again but here right now. Mother doesn't usually cry when father hits her.
She only crys when I get hit. She couldn't protect me. That's why she crys but it's not her fault. Father is a drunk maniac. He's a big alcoholic. I don't know what he wants from it though.
For example, I was out a giant swamp, and there's some crocodiles there, I picked up a baby, one I thought he was so cute.
Those green scales. And those pokey ones at his back that made him seem like as long dinosaur.
I heard the shouting of my mother behind me, so I look back just for a second, but it wasn't mother at least not coming towards me.
"Put that thing down," he yelled it, hurt my ears, and I bet the Croc too, so I put him down so he could skiddy off. He did, but I just left me to deal with the consequences.
"What are you thinking, are you mental? What's wrong with you? Why we're you were you even out here?" He kept asking me those questions over and over again, but he was the one who said I could go out on the first place then again, he was drunk.
Like always.
He shouted at me in French. " qu'est-ce qui ne va pas chez toi ? pourquoi sommes-nous nés ! "(what's is wrong with you? why were born!)
I couldn't exactly understand what he was saying, mother was teaching me French, but I just wasn't that interested. I mean, having one language is enough, why have to?
Father was dragging me out of the swamp. Once we got back to our house, he threw me inside, walking straight over me and heading to the kitchen. I assumed get more alcohol.
I got up and dashed from the place I was to my room as quickly as I could, but also as silently, so that maybe he'd leave the house and search for me, but he didn't.
Instead, he just yelled, he yelled at the door mat, nothing there, he expected me to be there, but I guess he was so drunk, he didn't even realize.
And of course, the neighbor saw, and they called the police again, this wasn't the first time this is happened.
It happens quite often, and when mothers here, and she usually takes it on saying, oh, he's just drunk or he's just having a bad day.
But it's always to conceal what's actually happening, I wish mother would just speak up, but she loves him too much, which I don't understand, how could you love someone who's so cruel.
I don't understand it, but I'm not a parent, neither am I married, so we'll just see what happens in the future, maybe I'll understand then, but until then I see shrouded in my room, waiting hopefully from other to come back.
When she doesn't, I worry I heard her voice, where is she?
I sneak out of my room very quietly, so that father doesn't get too mad at me, I creep down the stairs and look over to the where the living room should be. All I see is what looks to be blood this isnt new either.
And of course, there was 3 quick and knocks at the door, whoever was laying in said, blood, got up quickly and brush themselves off. I assumed it was mother.
The police, they'd be quite concerned if there was blood on the back ground I quickly grab some blankets to cover it up, thankfully, father and seem to be in the living room the moment maybe I heard him going upstairs, I don't remember.
, mother answers the door, thankfully, the police didn't see me. All they saw was a blanket on the floor, and it was soaking up, whatever was on the floor.
"Oh, yes, everything's fine here, oh, I just got accidentally cut myself, it's ok."
The police officers gave a worried glance and walked off they're probably gonna report this again, I'd rather not get into another fight with father.
Mother turns around and sees me as peaking my head just round the corner.
"Come here," she says in a gentle voice, I run up to her and give her the hug, "baby, why don't you go catch some frogs?"
I knew what she was doing, she wanted me gone, but not in the way most people think she wants me out of the house so that she can clean up and get father back down to a normal temper, he's probably in the room there room throwing a giant fit, but I listen to mother. She didn't need a whiny child while also having many cuts on her face.
I walked out the front door and went to go catch some frogs, the frogs were closer than the crocodiles.
After a few hours, mother came back out, she picked me up and took me back inside the house. She didn't say much of anything. That's ok, though she's probably tired.
When I get home, dinner's already on the table, thanks to mother we have food it's thanks to her secret stash of food and money. Father spends his money on cheap stuff, alcohol, cigarettes and stuff like that.
After a little while when food is done, I run back upstairs, something always happens in the kitchen, a mother never wants me to see it, and whatever happens, she always ends up crying, the bathroom at the end of the night is always way, too scared to ask, what was wrong?
So many things were hurting that kitchen. I don't know what's worse, this screaming or the weird smell, whatever it is, something is clearly wrong with mother, but I hope she's OK, she will be ok as long as I'm here, as long as we have each other and father can only hurt, he can never kill
Right?
