How Bad I Wanna Sink and Let It Take Me Away

ONE-SHOT

Yeon-Seo felt the smell of the hot tea as she entered the kitchen. It was fascinating how just that scent could already calm her down.

These last days, she had been needing some calmness. She had been through some weird days, and her body was reacting to it into an almost extreme level. It worried her, but at the same time, she felt alive. So alive. Weirdly, she could compare those feelings to a life-death situation, but it was like if she had to decide, she wanted both so badly. Live, die, just for it. Like a bittersweet experience, she was a sucker for the pain, and the healing it offered. So at the end, the real cause of her anxious thoughts and shivers was: Is this right?

It felt so wrong, and so right. But she knew, deep down. She knew the answer.

Argh! – She screamed when a drop of the hot liquid hit her skin.

Shaking her hand, she wondered about how physical pain could be more bearable than the kind of pain she was in lately. Because... Well... If you have physical pain, you take painkillers, some kind of relaxing medication, or, I don't know... Drugs? Whatever. What matters is: You'd have a way out. An easy one. Just trick your brain into not thinking about the pain, or force it to ignore it. But how about that special type of pain? That pain that's not imaginary, but not physical either? How about those feelings that felt so uneasy, untouchable and abstract, but at the same time so real and meaningful, that even a non-painter like her could paint a whole wall about it?

She didn't know the answer, so she shook her head and poured the tea into her mug. But could barely take one sip without listening to her phone ringing.

It was almost midnight, who could be calling at this hour? It's not like she had any schedule right now, for her agent to call. Her parents were asleep at this hour, and she had no else to think about that would call her at times like that.

Well...

Actually...

When she reached her phone, it was obvious.

Seo In Guk. Of course.

What is it? – She asked in a rush, as picking up the phone call.

Uh? That's how you talk to your long-time friend? – The man behind the phone mocked. – Are you mad? – He carefully asked.

Of course! It's almost midnight. I thought it was an emergency! – She screamed angrily, not meaning it.

Oh, did I wake you up? I'm sorry! – He apologized quickly. – It's fine, just say it already. – Oh Yeon Seo rushed him.

Okay. Open your door. – Seo In Guk answered.

Oh Yeon Seo was stunned.

WHAT THE F*CK?

No way he was in her front door.

There was no way her 16-year-old crush was standing in her door at midnight, just like she had been hopping for 16 years, while he was busy making Korean Dramas with many pretty actresses that were so much different from her.

I mean, yes, they made a whole K-Drama together, but it was nothing like an actual romance K-Drama. They made a mystery-comedy drama that had A SLIGHT romance between them. Nothing big, and it was not a big deal. So she REALLLY, REALLY tried to not give it much of a meaning, even though every time they would make romance scenes together, her heart skipped, one, two, three fucking beats.

It was just a drama. She was in character. And so was him.

He made beds scenes before, and so did she. So WHY would her heart flutter over a PECK KISS SCENE?