Sɪᴄᴋ⁻⁻Jsᴄʜʟᴀᴛᴛ//Fᴇᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 12

I lie down on my floor like a starfish and stare at my ceiling. The food helped a lot, and I have calmed down significantly. I haven't texted Ted or Schlatt since I got home. It's 3:12 pm. I have 5 hours before my shift. 5 hours to do fuck all but think about this Kalynn girl.

I locked my phone in the timed safe I bought so I wouldn't scroll while I studied. It was useful at the beginning of my studies, but as the years went on, I didn't need it anymore. I stare at it; it taunts me. It taunts me with all of the texts I could be missing, all of Schlatt's tweets, and his stream notifications since it's a Friday. It taunts me with the idea of Schlatt and Kalynn texting. It taunts me like a jester, pressuring me to check out her Instagram to see who she is.

I resist all of the urges and press my palms into my eye sockets. I take deep breaths in and slow breaths out, trying to calm the storm of thoughts in my head. It isn't that deep. It hasn't been deep since Schlatt and I started "dating" and it hasn't been deep now.

At the same time though, how can you keep reassuring me that you want me there? You want me in Maine. You want me to experience whatever cottage and lakes and beaches and warm weather Maine has. You want me. Why? Why want me now out of the month we've been "dating"?

Maybe Korine was right. I shift positions and lie down on my right side. Maybe he is leading me on.

I frown and bury my face into my pillow.

Okay fine. Maybe I still like Schlatt.

Exams might've taken my mind off of him but he's still tattooed in my subconscious. I still get giddy when he texts me and my heart does somersaults every time he wishes me safe travels. I occasionally dream about his smile, his arms, and his maniacal laugh. I still think about him in that stupid 90s headband and his gold chain.

Fuck me.

I rush over to my safe, punch in the password, and take my phone.

What time is the flight on Sunday?

I bite the edge of my nails and tap my foot on the floor.

7 am

What should I bring?

idk

I toss my phone back into the safe and only retrieve it before my shift.

...

My phone rings as I step into my car. I wait for it to connect to my Bluetooth before I answer.

"Schlatt?" I ask. "It's like 1 am. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He responded."I wanted to apologize for my behavior before."

My shift did a good job of drowning out the envy, but he brought it back. "No worries," I say through a tight jaw. My knuckles grip the steering wheel as I drive home. "It's not that deep," I say to calm myself.

"Yeah it's just...my ex was asking a lot of questions and it was fucking annoying."

My brain explodes with what Kalynn could've possibly been asking Schlatt. Was it about me? Was she asking about our situation? What did he say about that?

"You still there?" Schlatt's thoughts brought me back to reality.

"Yeah, sorry. I have work brain." I lie. "You should go to sleep."

"Nah, I'll wait until you get home."

There he goes again with mixed signals. I always told myself that I don't do mixed signals. It's a waste of time, and it only makes me overthink.

"No, you should go to sleep." I press. I didn't want to talk to him. I wanted to go home, shower, and make a plan for tomorrow. I work another double tomorrow, and then on Sunday, we leave.

"Olive," Schlatt chuckles as if he can't sense my growing disdain. "Seriously, we don't talk anymore. I miss you."

I stare at his name on my screen: JARED SCHLATT. It used to be something cuter; SCHLATTY BOY, but he's been demoted to his government name.

"Miss me?" My words come out like sharp daggers as I emphasize the end of miss. I sound like a snake, riddled with jealousy. I hate the way negative emotion consumes my body when I like someone. It's my least favorite trait about myself.

"Yeah." He yawns. "I miss you. We've been so busy." He comments.

"Yeah." That is all I can muster up before impulsively driving my car into another car.

"You okay?"

"I'm just tired, Schlatt." I snap. I'm tired of waiting around for you to take me on another date. I'm tired of waiting for your text messages. I'm tired of waiting for you to show some kind of interest in me.

"Hey," I feel my blood start to pump in my eardrums as the words roll off my tongue. "Do you still like me?"

The line is silent for a bit, and now I'm definitely regretting not crashing my car when I had the chance.

"Yes?" He chuckles. "Why?"

"Oh, you know," I turn onto my street. "You've been off and on recently."

"Oh..." Schlatt inhales sharply. "I'm not the confident jackass on camera in person if you haven't noticed."

"That's not even what I'm talking about." I tighten my jaw. "You've been super avoidant, and I get that dating is hard nowadays, but I have shit to do. I'm in fucking med school."

"Olive, you're...not wrong." He speaks slowly and carefully like I'm a toddler about to have a tantrum in the middle of a Walmart. "I...I do like you. I think you're great. But I've been thinking about it and..."

I park my car in the driveway and kill the engine. My eardrums are still thumping, and my palms have started sweating. "I think we rushed into this a little too quickly." He finishes. I stare at his name again and blink.

"The fuck do you mean too quickly? We didn't even start! We went on like 2 dates and hung out a couple of times." Is he being serious right now? Am I missing something?

"I mean, in the sense that..." He trails off, and I sit in my car, tired and annoyed, waiting for him to say something.

"If you think we aren't compatible, then you can just say that," I say quietly. A part of my heart cracks when I hear the words being put out in the universe, but another part of my heart heals. I no longer have to play a guessing game.

"I didn't know how to tell you." His voice is apologetic and regretful. "Olive, I like you a lot, but realistically, I don't think we can -"

"Be something more." I finish the sentence. I close my eyes and sigh. A small weight has been lifted off my shoulders; I prepared for this outcome since the beginning. I knew our lifestyles were too different.

"Yeah, exactly." He clears his throat. "I still want you to come to Maine, though. You know I...I like talking to you, and you're great. You're like the top 3 people I know, and I want to keep getting to know you more."

"So me friend zoning you wasn't completely out of the ballpark?" I joke. I would be lying to everyone if I said I didn't enjoy Schlatt's company or his personality. "I want to get to know you too. As friends." I reaffirm.

"As friends." He confirms. "I like the sound of that."