DEATH FLOWER

Chapter 5

Morana

It had been 4 days and approximately 7 hours since the weird ass shit happened to me. All that time had passed yet I had successfully failed to push down the memories of what had happened in the recess of my mind. The monuments of my remembrance, carved impeccably out of the past events, rested in the wrong part of my brain. Over reacting? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Trouble and drama wasn't new to me but the scenario sure as hell was. I had never been so feeble against hardships but I was just that. Tired of this relentless thing we called life. As it turns out, I wasn't the only one bearing hatred towards it. The sentiments were absolutely mutual on the other end too. The reason why life would never let me have a break. It wanted me to cower away, to break and to fall. Which it succeeded in this time.

My mind and I had never been on really good terms. It had always provoked my thoughts and fears against me leaving the shadow of a great rebellion in its wake. With a war breaking out every time my feelings tried to make an alliance with my mind. As little conviction I had of the body and mind which I regrettably called as my own, I was met with a great appall when it sustained my existence. They had pushed me through all the shit at the police station. From defending myself to hiding my tangible perplexed state. Without breaking. But breaking down nevertheless. Definitely not in front of the right person. Reality check. It wasn't embracement that my mind granted me with but a conspiracy. A conspiracy laid out in treaty with my fucked up fate, to make me break in front of the last person I wanted to portray my vulnerability to.

Because when the sickening and shitty melodrama at the police station had bid me farewell, the effects of my delayed adrenaline peeked through the doors of my heart and of course without further delay broke down the tattered door and the cracked walls with crushing momentum, flushing their way throughout every ounce of blood that my body contained.

And I had broken down with no control of my own body as I tried to pull the reins of the fazed rush. With slight trembles moving throughout my body and the shivers running down my spine to the ragged breathing and bewildered heartbeats. It was just that. The complete destruction of the vigilantly built layers of invulnerability leaving me utterly bare for him to see. Weak. Small. And Exposed.

I had been as surprised as my wrong horror scope for the day when he had asked me if I was okay. My fagged out brain had failed to process the words he had delivered for a couple of seconds and when it finally did, it had robbed me of my ability to form words and introduce them into our charged vicinity. With my thoughts lost and my soul ambushed, I could only look at him blankly and notice how his brows furrowed with what would have passed to be concern had it been anyone else. But that's the whole point. It wasn't anyone else but Xandros Elrix, incapable of feeling such set of emotions. At least for me. The thought itself was completely absurd because the mere thought of Xandros being concerned for my well being was as stupid as the thought of a lion without it's ability to roar. Responsibility. Yeah. That's what he must have felt in the heat of the moment.

He had always had this messed up sense of responsibility engulfing him as a whole. He didn't really give a shit about any person who's name didn't start with a letter X and ended with a letter S but of course completely chained down by the metallic reins of responsibility on the behalf of my so called busy brother, he had to-

'Putting too much thought in what he was actually feeling at that moment now. Are we?'

The stupid voice in my head whispered to me in an all too playful manner.

Wha- No. Hell no. Like what the fuck! Shut your shit, stupid voice.

'If only you did a better job at shutting down your measly thoughts than shutting me.'