Like I'm Gonna Lose You (Camren)

I'm Gonna Love You

"I found myself dreaming, in silver and gold. Like a scene from a movie, that every broken heart knows. We were walking on moonlight and you pulled me close," I sang out into the mic in my hand, feeling the song deep in my bones and pushing it back out into the next line of lyrics that followed. "Split second and you disappeared and then I was alone."

"Would you marry me if I asked you to right now? Would you say yes? Because I don't want to lose you. I want to love you like I'm going to lose you in the next second. I don't want to waste no more time with these small moments, I want to take you into forever with me, no matter how short it could be."

I waited, waited for her response. Nothing came. Maybe we were out of time. Maybe I was too late and our forever was over. It was no one's fault, but it was not what I wanted, not what I had expected so soon. It was too soon in my book.

What if I was too late? What if this was all my fault?

I hung my head, deep sadness filling up my chest, like I was congested and could not breathe right anymore.

"Please say yes. Just, please..." I sobbed quietly. "I want to keep loving you like tomorrow will be the last day, like tonight was the last hours we had together. I can't just yet, let go."

"Woke up in tears, with you by my side. Breath of relief, and I realized. No, we're not promised tomorrow."

I felt my tears start to flow down my cheeks, my thoughts lost in the irony of the song I was singing.

I let my body sway to the rhythm of the music, trying to keep calm so I would not start to lose my voice mid lyric. I thought back to the memories, to everything. I just kept my mind busy on other things, to stop myself from falling into sobs instead of the silent tears that fell down my cheeks and not my shirt.

"Babe, please stop, you know how much I hate being tickled," I yelped as she attacked my sides again. I managed to get her lips close to mine, for a quick kiss, and that stopped her attack on me. I ran away as soon as she stopped and hid away in the bathroom. It was my hiding spot when she started these random attacks on my sides.

"Not fair! You can't use kissing to stop me from tickling you! Just for that I am going to tickle you even more when you come out of that bathroom." I could hear her stomp over to where I was and wait outside the door. I chuckled, because I knew how easy it would be to get out of this.

"If I promise to give you several long sweet kisses, can we call a truce?"

I could hear her thinking through the door. She was that loud that I could hear her thinking hard. But everyone knew, that she didn't really think that hard as she already had an answer as soon as something was asked of her.

"How long would these kisses be?"

"As long as you want them."

"So they can be as long as a day?"

"If that is what you want. But you might want to re-think that because you know, we need to breathe and stuff."

"Alright, truce. No more tickling." I opened the door and found her holding her hands up in compliance with the terms and conditions of the truce called.

I cracked a small smile, happy to know that the outcome was always the same. It could get routine with us in the things we did, but it never got old; calling the truce and kissing her like it was our last kiss, feeling everything from my head all the way down to my toes.