orgasm donor | na jaemin

you can handle it

"Hey...you okay?" Jisung asked as he sat down by the chair in the waiting room beside Areum. She looked up at him with her eyes that stung, streams of dried tears along her cheeks

"We cleared out her room, this had your name on it so I thought you'd want it" Jisung said, extending his hand out to give her a few pages of paper

"Thanks" she said plainly and he nodded

"Dr. Na cleared your schedule for the rest of your shift. Maybe you should get some rest" Jisung said and she chuckled dryly at the fact that someone younger than her was giving her this advice

"Jisung...or Nurse Park—"

"Jisung is fine" he said quickly, not wanting to feel to old

"Are you used to it? Seeing people die?" She asked, eyes daring to close shut almost as she watched him think deeply

"No...none of us are. We just pretend like we are because it makes the job easier" Jisung said, nodding his head at her before standing up to his feet

"You did great on the surgery today. Dr. Lee was impressed and it takes a lot to impress that guy" Jisung chuckled and she smiled, leaning her head back against the chair as she remembered the surgery over an hour ago. It should've made her feel great, given her a confidence boost but instead she just felt sick and unable to comprehend what she had just done.

"Don't be too hard on yourself alright? See you around" Jisung said quickly, turning on his feet and walking away from her.

She let out a sigh as her eyes peered down to the pages in her hand, the first two being a neatly written essay yet to be read by their 'hot shot doctor with a big dick'. She let out a smile as she remembered her words and her smile. Her eyes landed on another page, neatly folded with 'To Dr. Jung' written by the top.

Dear Areum,

Thanks for making my last few days here a blast. I had a lot of fun with you around. I'm sorry you got to miss out on your surgeries because of me. I know you're going to say it's not my fault but it is.

I asked Dr. Na to assign you to me because I really just needed a friend. I told him not to tell you that either so I apologise on behalf of the hot shot doctor with a big dick. I knew I was going to die since I got here and he knew that too. I asked him not to tell you that either.

I wanted someone to stop looking at me like I was some ticking time bomb. I just wanted to be treated like I was a normal med student again, writing up some useless essay on medical ethics and complain about patients and losing sleep. So thanks for letting me have that. And when you two finally make up, tell Dr. Na I said thanks too.

All the best doc.

Love, Seulgi
(the sister you never had)

________

Areum let out a small breath as she found herself still in her uniform but far away from the hospital. She stared at the dark wooden door, raising her hand to place a knock against it. She bit her lower lip as she contemplated turning back around and making a run for it, knowing every time she found herself by his door she only found herself in trouble too. Yet it was far too late as she heard the lock click open.

"Areum?" Jaemin asked as he widened the door, watching her take a step towards him making his step back until they were standing in his hallway.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as she kicked his front door shut behind them, her tired eyes lingering on his confused ones for a second too long

"You knew." She said with a low voice making him purse his lips into a thin line

"You knew all along and you never told me...you stood there and watched me cry my fucking eyes out while I did everything I possible could to save her and—you didn't even tell me then" she said with a scoff as she shook her head at him slowly

"Why would you do that to me?" She asked with her voice cracking slightly at the end of her sentence making his heart plummet to the pit of his stomach

"I—I thought..." he wanted to say he was doing the right thing, that he was thinking about the patient because that was his job, that he did what he had to do.

"I stood there that whole time thinking it was all my fault. That she died because I wasn't there, she died because I was busy doing a surgery I wasn't even meant to do. I thought that she died because of me...why would you do that to me?!" She asked with a shaky voice that picked up a few decibels

"...you shouldn't get attached to the patient." Jaemin said with a low voice, masking the guilt he was feeling inside his chest

"What?" She breathed out, not believing she had heard right

"You shouldn't get attached to the patient. It'll prevent you from making the right choices and cloud your judgement. You'll be a better doctor if you maintain the emotional distance" Jaemin said with a nod and she scoffed, turning her head to the side

"Be a better doctor?" She asked with disbelief, shaking her head as she kicked off her shoes and walked down his hallway. He slowly followed behind her footsteps as he watched her slip off her uniform quickly

"Areum, let me drive y—"

"Be a better doctor? Really?" She asked again with a scoff making him sigh as she turned to him, taking her pony tail down as she remained only in a white vest and hello kitty underwear

"I wouldn't have put you on this case if I knew you couldn't handle it" Jaemin said, defending his actions still but she disregarded his statement, not caring for what else he had to say

"What do you even know about me? Like really, what the fuck do you know?" She asked, reaching for her pants on the ground and pulling out a crumpled white sheet of paper

"And before I forget, here's that fucking essay you asked for" she grumbled, throwing it at him and watching it bounce off his chest before he reached to the ground to pick it up

"Want me to read it for you too?" She asked, approaching him and resting her hand by the door. He sighed and shook his head slowly, parting his lips to apologise

"I'm sorr—" she cut him off by simply closing the bedroom door on his face making him frown slightly, raising his brows with confusion as she tucked herself into his bed

"You can take the couch tonight" She said loud enough so he could hear

"But...this is my hou—"

"I wouldn't make you do it if I knew you couldn't handle it" she said, hearing him audibly grumble as he turned on his heel and walked down the hallway to sleep on the couch which he knew was going to be uncomfortable already