Death of Me [Tartaglia]

chapter 5

"And you're sure you don't want to spar with me?" Childe calls from the arena as he drags yet another training dummy to the center. 

"No." 

"No, you're not sure?" he says with a smile. 

"No I don't want to spar with you! I told you I still don't feel well from using my delusion," I snap back. 

He shrugs taking a few steps back to admire the 17 dummies  he's organized randomly throughout the ring. I sit slumped over in the corner of the room, studying his every move. He doesn't seem like the smart type; his childish nature and arrogance actually make his seem almost innocent. How the hell did he figure out it's me so quickly?

He conjures his duel hydro blades, and begins attacking several dummies. I feel a small twinge of jealousy. He can uses his vision so freely, and using it seems to being him so much joy. Revealing mine would be a blatant pointer to me if my bird ever got discovered though, so I will suffer with my delusion. 

I think back to the first time I told Diluc about my delusion. He'd sent back the bird with an angry message making me swear to never use it. Of course I'd agreed with him, I knew what delusions had done to his father. I've used it three times in total: when I first got, to kill a servant who had caught me sending messages to Diluc, and to fight Childe. 

Fighting Childe had of course been necessary to not arouse suspicion. The servant I killed, a young man who I saw helping in the kitchen sometimes, was a quick death. The guilt of it had racked me for days; and yet, getting caught and risking the information I was providing Mondstadt would have been worse. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself... 

My body feels worse then it ever has, achy and I'm being plagued with migraines and nausea. I once heard that Childe had a delusion, but that hydro power is his alone, he earned it. His blue eyes narrow as he slices the head of one of the dummies off. I notice he's decapitated all of the dummies, leaving the fake bodies scattered across the area floor. I catch his gaze and look away. 

"Glad to see I didn't bore you to sleep," he says with a grin walking over to me. 

"Don't flatter yourself," I mutter. "I've just been thinking." 

"Thinking about what?" 

He makes a stop at a water station, grabbing two cups. He finishes his walk over to me, slumping to sit next to me. I watch a bead of sweat run down his cheek, as a wave of the smell hits me. He's looking at me intently so I pull my gaze away from the sweat to look at him. 

"Nothing." 

He offers me his second cup of water, "Here. Water always helps." 

"With what? Thinking?" I ask dumbly. 

"No your delusion, silly. I have one too you know." 

I can't hide the shock on my face, "That's not a vision?" 

"Oh the hydro sure is," he says with a grin as he pushes his sweaty hair off his forehead. "I have an electro delusion." 

"Why don't you use it then? You'd be stronger." 

"Because it makes us sick, they kill their users." 

Us. I guess he's like me then, actually more like the opposite. He gets to use his vision and reserves his delusion, I have to use my delusion and hide my vision. 

I sip the water he gave me, staring at my knees. The silence lingers between us, the only noise his elevated breathing. 

"I'm sorry for making you use it, I genuinely thought you had a cryo vision. I didn't want to get you sick, even if you are a traitor," he admits. "When we spar again we can just use weapons, no visions or delusions." 

A laugh slips out before I can stifle it, "What makes you think I'll want to spar with you again?" 

"Maybe I'll make you, or else I'll leak your secret," he says with a smirk. 

"I think that's blackmailing." 

I see him shrug out of the corner of my eye, "What can I say, I am a harbinger." 

I smile slightly before remembering I am supposed to be on guard. 

"You don't have to act like you're emotionless," he says, noticing. 

"Whatever, are you done because I think you need a shower," I say, standing up. 

He laughs, "Gosh, just when I thought we were starting to be friends." 

He reaches his arms up like he wants me to pull him off the floor. I consider, briefly. 

"Get up yourself tough guy," I say, making towards the door. 

He groans, then follows me out.