Rollercoaster of Hearts - Diana

Introduction

I have never looked for love. Romantic love. Never needed it, never wanted it. I have seen what love does to people, how it changes them. It was never in a good way either. I mean, maybe with a couple exceptions like my grandparents who have managed to stay together for 70 years. Granted, they have always ended up in fights every other day, hence the word "change". But it was a "till death do us part" type of relationship so I saw the appeal in that. I also witnessed my maternal grandmother's marriage, where there were second and third wives involved, divorces, reconciliations, more divorces... I have seen the way it has traumatized my mother, aunts, uncles, and those kinds of wounds tear families apart, eroding bonds, distorting values. Let's not even talk about my own parents' relationship. Borderline cheating to polygamy, incessant lies, and as Africans you know we never shy away from voodoo or dark magic. Believe me when I say this: it is very real and very destructive. As someone who didn't really care about voodoo and such, much less believe in it, I wasn't scared of it or anything. However, for others, just the thought of somebody resorting to that to seek revenge or harm could be enough to make you run for the hills or consume you until you are mere remnants of yourself.

As I said, I have seen the worst parts of love and not much of the good. So, why now? Why am I looking all of a sudden? Why do I long for a love so strong it surpasses the boundaries of life itself? A love that speaks volume in its silence. I want to see the goodness in love that has eluded me so far because I sense that something essential is missing from my life, and I am determined to find it. Yet, it is hard to find something when you are unsure of what exactly it is you seek. So, I am going to search. I am going to navigate this intricate path of love. I will fall and rise, run and hide, but above all, I will wholeheartedly strive to love. And throughout this life-changing expedition, I invite you, my dear friends, to bear witness to it all. Together, let's hop on this rollercoaster of hearts and find answers we may all be looking for.

-Risha S.