Fit For Love

Who is this new trainer?

Present Day

"Love doesnt always have to be sexual"
Said my very wise bestfriend whom i have been telling everything for the past few months regarding this new experience of my life.

"Have you ever thought of killing a person just because they couldnt be yours. So you would rather kill them and not let them be with anyone else too?"
Said the guy who this story is gonna be about to me on a random phone call we were having once.

The interesting part of this book, hopefully, is gonna be that it is not gonna have an ending because this chapter has just started in my life and im not sure when is it gonna end.

Since i do not want my memories to fade away quickly, which they do a lot, since i feel like i have amnesia,or because i am just in a depressive state of my mind these few years. I tend to forget things and memories often. And hence, the reason i am writing this.

"Have you ever thought of killing a person just because they couldnt be yours. So you would rather kill them and not let them be with anyone else too?"- he said
And i replied in my mind, "yes. YOU."
But in reality i said, " no, i would never want that person to die just because they couldnt be mine", thinking about the actual love of my life, my on again off again ex for the past 6 years whom i had just broken up again for the millionth time 2 weeks ago.

I have only emotionally, physically and mentally been with just one person all my life. For the past 6 years, she has been the only one girl who has lived in my heart for as long as i can remember, i have had a couple flings in between, a very short lived relationship with someone else too, a hookup last month, and a year long relationship which almost got serious back in 2020.
But the funny thing is that i never stopped loving this one girl and that is how we both know that we both really had genuine feelings for each other.

She, on the other hand also had her fair share of dating and physical experiences these past years and maybe that was the reason we both forgave each other and always came back to one another when we were sick of finding love out in the world apart from one another because in the end we both knew that it was just us both who were REALLY IN LOVE.

We have both broken each others' hearts a million times, said awful things to each other a billion times, have stayed away from each other for months and months but in the end of the day, it was still just her with whom i imagined starting a family with and so did she.

I am not sure if we are again gonna patchup or what exactly the future holds but this story is not about that experience of my life.

Chapter 1

I do not distinctly remember the timeline but i think i can tell when exactly this guy entered my life.
Although i can check for receipts in my phone but i would have to scroll up so much because it happened months ago.
But if i am correct, i saw him right before a day when i left for a 3 day getaway with my friends to a place which was so spiritually rich.

It was 7 or 8 in the morning if i remember correctly, we had just completed our workout session and were packing up things and were heading towards the exit, that is when i see this new trainer for the first time ever in the gym and my immediate thought seeing him was that how young he is to be a trainer, but then i quickly corrected myself by thinking, "or maybe he is just short heighted". I did find him very attractive. He looked like he did not really wanna be there by the way he was folding both of his hands behind his back like any working professional would do at a work place. He looked like he wanted to be in as much discipline as he could. But, it was almost the exit door and i left.

The next 3-4 days were filled with enthusiasm and fun. It was such a great trip with some amazing friends i had back then, i would never forget the place and the memories we created in that city.

I came back.
Thought about where my life was going.
Something about that city changed all of us. The spiritual energy that we found there was something we never found here in our hometown. I did not see anybody using phones or their devices. Everything about that trip is so memorable. We celebrated one of our friends' birthday.
Drank twice in a row, threw up, played games, took a dip in the waterfall up in the mountains, rented scooters and explored the city, but the highlight of the trip is definitely gonna be that night when the four of us sat by the river at night and just experienced nature in a way i never had previously in my life.
The water was flowing, it was dark but the temples had their lights on, i could see the mountains right infront of me. It was something that i would definitely wanna experience again soon.
That was our last night there, we packed up the next day and were home by evening.

I had a depressive episode that continued for a week straight because as my other friends realised that they needed to get their shit together after this amazing trip, me on the other hand could just not hide the pain inside me anymore, the pain of seperating from the girl i loved and seeing her with someone else, the timeline can be confusing because this happened a few months ago from the introduction that i wrote above.

I did not go to the gym for a week because i wasnt feeling right and didnt have the energy to get up and see people, but i finally did after a few days and saw my friends which was an amazing feeling too, seeing them, right there, by my side.

But now, this is around the time i might have started seeing him again, although i do not remember clearly the images of him when i got back to the gym after a week but i can assume this is when i might have seen him again.

Cut to a few days after,
Me and my friend went to the gym in the afternoon, one day, and he was there. Minding his own business, helping a client,(which i later got to know was his acquaintance).
I felt nervous around him, cause i could not stop blushing by just seeing him in his gray t-shirt and black sweatpants. He looked happy and motivated and was also having a chat with one of the other trainers. I tried ignoring him, because, one, i had nothing to do with him, and second, i also did not want my friend to notice that i was staring at him whenever i was getting a chance.
As i was continuing my self loathing workout, he, out of nowhere took off his shirt and was so proud of his physique and was discussing something with the other trainers.
I hate it when people take off their clothes to show off their bodies because it makes me feel so uncomfortable with my own skin but i was almost thanking him that he did that infront of me and i could see the real him for the first time.

I think that was the day when i tried to search him on instagram and luckily, it wasnt very hard, just a quick thorough research and i found out his name and his instagram profile was public.

Kaairav.

Was his name.