time heals everything>3

let's become a little bit selfish<3

I was going back to home from school. My school is always an anxiety to me. How it feels to be insecure all the time!

Teacher asked me a question & told me to stand up but when he told me to stand up it's felt like someone is telling me to jump from the roof.

Everyone was looking at me. I know the answer bu..but I can't say it out loud, I just can't! It's embarrassing.

And then teacher started to yelling at me. "Why did you come to school?" "Why you're wasting your parents money?" & All those words are still running to my head.

How could I explain that what I feel inside? How it's feel not to say anything while knowing everything.

While Thinking those things I don't even realised when did I came home.

I knocked the door & mom opened it. Before I enter she started yelling at me. I understand why is she yelling. I know my teacher called my mom & said those scary things. To be honest I can't take those things anymore! I'm sick of this home!

She's still yelling. And suddenly I heard her to saying
"Why don't you die and give us some mental peace?!"

After hearing that my heart stop beating. It's not like I'm hearing this for the first time but still it's hurting the most today!

And that's when I met the another version of me whom I've never seen before. I yelled at her & tell her to shut her mouth! She was in shocked, she literally shut her mouth! But I didn't stop!

I said, "who told you to gave me birth? Do you have any dark past that Lord curse you with a child like me?! Am I really your daughter?" She said nothing. I literally shout a lot and then I started crying. She was standing there & said, "I don't know what I did in my past but it's true that you're a curse in my life!"

And then she gone from there & after a while I also went to my bedroom.

But trust me I felt like I put something heavy from my shoulder. I keep those pain in my heart for a long time but I can't keep it anymore!

Then I set my mind to leave this country in two months! I promised myself that I'll leave in 2 months.

I applied for south Korean scholarship.
1 month later after trying a lot I get the scholarship and they approved my application. I got an approval from Choong Ang High School.

After watching that I cried like hell! I've never cried that much!

But still a little bit of hesitation. My parents don't know anything about this.

After thinking that I become a little bit upset. And then I started to have flashbacks. The way they treated me, my mom called me curse , told me to die!! Those words was burning me!

No! No more silence! I can't do that to myself anymore.

I got my passport & also my visa.

Actually I've never thought about money cuz I'm a freelancer , a wattpad story writer but no one ever see my picture in online & I never told my parents about this. I didn't eat at home since my mom called me a curse! I didn't took any money from them & they don't even asked me anything.

Everyone knows in online that I'm 18+. Cuz If I don't tell that I'm 18+ then I can't do freelancing. And as an introvert it's easy for me to work online. And I got enough money.

I'm always dreaming about opening a company becoming a CEO. And maybe I'm gonna do this cuz that little step of moving in another country gives me a lots of hope.

I went to my parents & told them I'm leaving in 2 weeks. They were staring at me & my father said what?

I repeated again. I'm leaving. I got the scholarship.

My father said, how dare you ? Who gave you hope? My mom said, maybe some boy from another country. So are u gonna stay with them? (Negatively)

I just said, oh yeah at least it's better than staying with you guys. And then my father stand up from the sofa & slap me then said "Take a step out of the house & see what I do!"
I said, "if you can stop me then I'll never try to do anything anymore!"

Finally the day came I'll leave tonight. My flight is at 3am. They know nothing. To be honest I wanted to tell them but I've no choice.

I don't care if they love me or not but I loved them. But the way they treated me that's made me to hate them!

I'm sorry but I can't give my everything to everyone anymore...