BL4M3 M3.

Chapter 1

Since I heard the news about his release, my body has been in shock. I can't believe five years had passed already. I can still remember everything like it was yesterday, and I still don't know how my life would be with him around.

I can't stop staring at the two-story house across from mine. The height is the same as in my past, just like the inside is murky and treacherous. I watch till the figures of my past are completely lost in the shadow of the dusky sky, but even then, I keep staring, and I keep thinking about him.

I feel a warm touch on my shoulder. I shudder. As I turn around, I see my mom. "Honey," she coos with her pitiful eyes boring me.

"I didn't see you coming," I say to her. She understands the implication of him coming back, but she's trying to hide her fears, just like everyone else.

"It's late. Go to bed." She taps on my shoulder. I nod and stroll up to my room.

All through the night, I think about him and what might happen with him around, and I'm terrified that it won't be good.

"Grumble and rise, sleepy head!" The intense sound of my door pulls me out from meditating further. I turn my face to the door and see Charity standing halfway inside my room.

"Oh." She pushes her head back, seeming shocked. "You're awake already..." She plods in, looking at me like I'm a bag full of mashed potatoes. She hates mashed potatoes. Standing in front of my bed, she crosses her hands on her chest, then cocks her head. "Let me guess. You couldn't sleep?"

I force myself up from the bed. "Nope," I say simply, trudging towards my bathroom.

I turn on the hot shower; it feels like my brain is melting with each drop that touches my body. I close my eyes and feel the hot water burning against me, but I also experience much more, such as the agony from each hole that was made in her chest. I hold onto myself. I just want to forget, and with him coming back, I think there's zero chance of that happening. After my dreadful shower, I get ready for school by putting on short-ripped jeans that are way above my knee, and I wear a white t-shirt that reads NEW YORK-ISH. I brush concealer over my face while glancing in the mirror. I then line my eyes with black mascara. I appear powerful because of it. However, I truly am a sixteen-year-old girl who is shrinking and damaged, so I brush it off. My ponytail holds back my dark tresses. Having removed my cosmetics, I now appear to be myself. I pick up my school bag and bounce out of my room. On getting to the living room, I suddenly feel soothed by the powerful smell that fills my nostril. I stand still for a while to perceive more of this delicious aroma.

"Bacon," I utter after realizing. I hurry to the dining area where I perceive more of what good life feels like.

"Hey, hon," my mom calls me mindlessly as she dishes out bacon and sausage.

"Wow," I utter as I approach the dining table.

"I made your favorite." I stare at the bacon that is neatly served to be engulfed. She's trying so hard to make me feel better. She has been for the past five years. And I feel horrible for making them worry about me. I wish I could make them see that they had no fault in what happened. I wish they could stop blaming themselves (just like I wish he didn't do it.)

"You didn't have to," I say with a small voice. My eyes are still gazing at the food.

She rubs my back and then kisses me on my head. "Go take a seat," she instructs, and I happily obey.

"Did I die and go to heaven?" Charity approaches. A tiny portion of her face is showing frown lines. Behind her is Mr. Langford, and I'm a bit relieved his face is not as stoned as usual. Charity takes her seat, same with my mom. Mr. Langford stands behind Mom, and places his hands on the top of her chair. I can feel his eyes on me while I mindlessly scroll through my phone in the hope of getting a text from Zack.