𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐞 | Isaac Garcia

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

Avery Howard and Jackie Howard, the two sisters who lost their other sister and two parents. It felt like everywhere they would go, move and turn, they were always labeled as the:

‛‛𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠''.

Avery absolutely hated it, being almost only known for that. Jackie didn't really have a problem with it, though she also thought it was quite annoying. She was grateful for all the condolences, and Avery obviously did too, but 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 was just 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡. And people didn't seem to catch on that those ‛‛𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬'' just hurt more then it should have.

Before our family dying, Avery and jackie had 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 lives. they both had friends, were obviously in the same friend group, had good grades and both had their amazing hobbies. Now even her favourite hobbies almost never satisfied herself anymore. Except for drawing. Drawing brought peace for Avery, it made her feel relaxed and kept her mind off all the shit Avery and Jackie have been through. Drawing was like a journal, she could express her own feelings without actually writing or saying it. And the same was for 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜. Playing the electric guitar gave her excitement. It made her forget everything what happend while she played it, until she would shut it off.

The problem with Avery was: she always bottled her emotions up until she exploded. While Jackie was the exact opposite. Sure Jackie would get a bit embarrassed, but she wasn't afraid to show her tears when she just couldn't hold it in her anymore. And with Avery being her only seven month older sister, she felt like she had to watch over her younger sister 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝. Even though no one else watched over her. not in 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 sort of way she wished and longed for. But at this point, Avery was used to it. Even if it wasn't the ‛‛𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭'' thing to get used to.

But in someway, fucking 𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐚𝐜 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐚 helped with those things. I mean he was definetly annoying, the most annoying brother out of all of them. Avery absolutely 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 him. And the feelings were pretty sure mutual. She didn't exactly feel hatred towards him, but god was he obnoxious. they could survive in a room together, but not without insulting, mocking and teasing eachother. The only thing that she 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 despise about him, was how he never showed pity. I mean he deep down did have pity, but only showed it when he saw that Avery clearly needed it. He knew how constant yammering about dead relatives only put more 𝐟𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞.

Avery definetly was a dad's girl, while Jackie was a mom's girl. Avery's dad always told her how her intelligence could ‛‛𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬''. And she tried her best to continue that ‛‛𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬''. Until her family (except Jackie) suddenly died. 

Deepdown, her innerself kept thinking about her sister's and parents death, but her outerself made it seem like she wasn't even bothered that much with it. It was like a shield incase something else would have maybe happend. or 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞. Her outerself showed joy, happiness. I mean she was obviously happy, she couldn't stay in her own shit-hole too long. But it didn't feel like enough joy. Or atleast not enough to make herself feel ‛‛𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞''.

Avery was used to saying that. That she was just ‛‛𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞''. But everyone knew that that was the biggest lie she had 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 told. And that lie kept repeating itself, out of her mouth. And she knew that soon enough, the more that lie kept getting told, the more chance she would get at just bursting her emotions out. And it didn't help 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 that people kept pushing it like there was no tomorrow. God, sometimes she wished she just could push everyone away without it seeming  ‛‛𝐫𝐮𝐝𝐞''. I guess that was something she also longed for.

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𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:

god i can't explain HOW EXCITED I AMM. this is literally my first ever wattpad fanfiction, so i hope you guys are going to like it.. also, please don't forget to vote and comment cause that shit gets me motivated 💗 LOVE U GUYS