Atrox

Page 13

I didn't want to know if he was angry, or hurt, or upset in some other way.

"Devon." He says.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Are you alright?" He asks. That was not what I was expecting. The surprise made me turn and look at him. His face was pulled down in worry.

"Yes. It was unexpected. Definitely not what I thought he was going to say to me. Seeing him at all is a surprise. But I'm alright. Like I told him, I forgave him long ago and was able to put it behind me."

"You still look tired, but now your eyes hold some sadness." He says.

"I might have moved on but it still, was hard to go through. I'm sure I'll always get that touch of sadness when I think about him and what happened. Um, are you okay? I thought you might be upset at finding out about him when I never told you. You growled."

"Just a little warning for him." He takes one hand in his and rubs my cheek with the other. I feel a weight lift to have him touch me again. I really thought he was going to be mad at me. But why wasn't he? I lay my hands on his bare chest and sigh.

"I was sure you were upset."

"Maybe at first, but then you said something that put me at ease."

"I did?" He smiled at me.

"He said he wished that you got the love you deserved. What did you tell him?" I thought back and repeated it.

"I said, 'Brent, I love Charlie, I'm very happy,' or something like that." He is smiling. "What?" He chuckled and swung me up into his arms.

"Say it again."

"Brent, I love,"

"Ah, right there." I looked at him confused as he laid me on the bed and stretched next to me. It dawned on me as I ran through it again. I'd said I loved him. Heat rushes up my face as I blush. It was true I did but I hadn't meant to say it yet.

"Oh." Is all I say. He's grinning at me making my embarrassment worse. I pull the pillow over my face and groan.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm hiding. I didn't realize what I said."

"Are you embarrassed. Didn't you mean it?" I threw the pillow and jerked up to look at him, nearly head butting him.

"Yes I meant it." He presses me to lay back down and leans over to kiss me deeply.

"Would it surprise you to know that, I love you too." He says still smiling at me.

"You do?" I ask breathlessly.

"Yes." I give him a deep kiss feeling my entire body fill with happiness. He pulls back making me grunt in annoyance.

"Come on I want more then kisses. We were getting to the drop your pants and fuck me part before he interrupted. Now I'm not getting anything more then kisses.

"We'll get to that but,"

"Butt, yes, my butt. I'm slick and loose and really, really, horny. We just found out we are having triplets." I shove and put him on his back. I straddle his legs and reach for his zipper. He grips my hands.

"Dev, honey, we'll get there but I need you to explain something." I sagged. I knew what he wanted and I didn't want too. "What happened with Brent?" I said nothing.

"He said you lost a baby. Will you tell me?" I sigh and slide to the side. Laying on my back I take a breath.

"Brent and I were in school together. We went on a few dates. Before Halloween we went out, grabbed some pizza and had sex in the back seat of his car."

"I know I was your first, you bled. So then you were his first top?"

"Yes. It was the only time that we were together. After Halloween we found out he was pregnant. I was freaked out but he was thrilled. I stuck by him and eventually was excited. When he hit mid month three he started having issues. He went into early labor. The baby was born early. He was too small and weak. He lived for only two weeks. We both were devastated but, Brett, needed me. But I had no idea how to help him. I know he was at an emotional end he needed me but I couldn't cope. We started fighting, blaming. He finally told me that I obviously didn't care about him or the baby. Told me that I needed to basically never talk to him again. He dropped out for the year, his parents took him and moved. It was the last I saw him until today. I was able to work through it, forgive the things he said, I understood how he acted. I could eventually move past it. I think the only people that remember he and I have a past is our families." I give a sigh. My brain finally came back from the hole where those memories lived and I realized I was crying and he was wiping my cheeks. He curled me into his arms.

"Dev, I'm so sorry. It might be your past but seeing him I'm sure brought it all back. My asking wouldn't help. Can I help somehow?"

"Where are the pictures of the girls?" I ask. He sits up reaching for the folder on the nightstand. He opens it and pulls out the pictures and hands them to me. Then stands and goes to the TV and put the dvd in the player. I sit there and stare at the girls with him leaning with an arm around me.

"When she said pregnant I thought of him but I pushed it away and concentrated on the girls. But seeing Brett. Pulled it all up. I was watching my words so I didn't say anything about the girls I was afraid that if I said something it might, hurt him."

"I'm sorry for poking at it."

"No it's okay. It makes me think of him but our girls, they are fine and I know they will be. Especially now cause you'll take extra good care of me. I think of Brett and how sorry I am that I couldn't help him. But it's not the past that really hurts. It's the future. Where I could have seen our boy grow. He'd be going into kindergarten. I'd sit and he and I could do homework together. Since I'm in college. I feel bad because while I think that, I wouldn't change anything from the way it happened. Because I love you, and I love our girls. I don't want to lose this."

"We aren't going anywhere. When these three are walking and running circles around us we'll start telling them about their big brother who is in heaven. Then we'll see what they think of little brothers. Sound good?" I turn and throw my arms around his neck.

"Sounds awesome. I love you Charlie."

"I love you too Dev."