Note (FICTION)

Dear Whoever Reads This,

I bet none of you ever expected this. I know you were all getting a little suspicious of my self harm and depression but none of you ever thought I would go so far as to kill myself. But the unexpected has happened and now I am gone. You'll ask 'Why did she do it? Her life was perfect.' Well it wasn't so perfect to me. It got bad when someone (it's not important who) told me that I had no feelings. That I was a monster. That my baby sister was too sweet and innocent to be related to someone like me. That I should hurt myself. That the world would be better off without me. He wanted me to die and eventually I started to think that he was right. I was just and ugly, emotionless, meaningless, unimportant, fat, unloved MONSTER.

I believe that I deserved all the pain that I caused myself. All the scars and scabs on my arms and stomach were exactly where they were supposed to be, my wounds were at home. They were small straight lines scattered around my wrists, sometimes running over each other. They were beautiful, they were perfect, they were RIGHT. They were the only thing in this world that gave me joy. Seeing those pink lines laced about my stomach made my day, hell it made my entire LIFE.

There were other things that I loved, reasons for me to live. But I've convinced myself that those reasons are irrelevant and they are mocking how terrible I was by being so perfect.

One of those reasons was my Isaac. Isaac, you were my Saviour and I was yours. I never got a chance to tell you this but I LOVE YOU with every fiber of my shameful being. The worst thing about my beautiful suicide is how much pain it is going to cause you. I am so sorry baby, for every wrong I have ever done unto you, most of all I am sorry that I never got to see you in person, to hug you and kiss you on the cheek like I promised I would. You said I was perfect to you and I said that if you kept believing that I would only disappoint you. Well this is the disappointment you get for believing in me as much as you did. I love you so so much Isaac, but that wasn't enough to save my battered self.

My other reason for surviving the 14 years that I did was my music. My music was virtually my everything. I think I would've done this by age 11 if I didn't have my music. So we have Blood on the Dance Floor, Black Veil Brides, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens, Ghost Town, Falling in Reverse, Haley Rose, Paramore, Linkin Park, Evanescence, and so many more to thank for 14 beautifully terrible years of my life.

4 more reasons to go. I'm slowly fading.

Andy Biersack. Andy, I know I sound like a stupid fangirl right now but you were my inspiration. You were my idol, when I was older I wanted to be loved and cherished just like you. You have so many devoted fans, such as myself, and I wanted what you had. So I set out to become the next generation of YOU. I would lead your army into the next era of people like us. People who need to be heard. I was going to carry out your message of acceptance and love and devotion to get what we want. I promise that I will never stop loving you Andy. BVB Army for life... And death.

Next up is Dahvie Vanity. You gave me a small sliver of hope that someone loved me. Even if it was only you and indirectly, it wasn't much to go on but at least it was something. I don't have much to say for you except thank you. Thank you so much for making music and thank you for misleading me into bliss. You mislead me to think that someone loved me but while the illusion lasted it was amazing.

Now there is Jayy Von Monroe. I'd say the same thing to you that I said to Dahvie but there is more to you. You, of course, gave me the beautiful illusion of adoration but you also let me jump into another world. Your deep voice let me slip away from reality and get lost in the smooth tendrils of the melody you concocted with your vocal chords. Every time I heard your perfect voice or saw your beautiful face my tightly strung nerves would relax and I would succumb to the soothing darkness of peace. Yes your voice did have that affect on me, I am not exaggerating. And other than that you were just plain sexy as f*ck. You were my biggest crush, every time I saw you a smile would involuntarily form on my face an my spirits would lift slightly. I thought of that stupid video you made every time I see a Blow Pop even though you hate those things now. You made me happy. But it obviously wasn't enough to overshadow the truth that I was worthless.

Don't get jealous Isaac, I still love you more than Jayy, and that's saying something.

The last and sadly least important reason was my family and friends. Sorry mom, dad, little Lily, Stephanie, Brianna, all of you. You all believed my facade of happiness. Only Stephanie, Brianna, and Isaac knew this, but I was bisexual. The only reason I didn't come out was because I knew that my dad would be okay with me being a lesbian but didn't believe in bisexuality. He, along with many others, would've said "You're either straight or gay, you can't be both" oh yea, well than WHAT AM I???

This is getting off topic...

There are more people I could thank, but I'm running out of time.

So anywhore I went through my life for 4 years, hurting myself and being shunned and bullied and outcasted and deceived and hating myself before it got to be too much. I spent 4 years suffering in silence but I have learned that 

•I love Isaac Michael Hayes  

•I love music  

•I love Andy Biersack 

•I love Jayy Von Monroe 

•I am meant to die 

•I don't belong here 

•The afterlife will be where I find happiness 

•My death was planned from the day I was born, that guy who called me a monster was just setting the plan in motion

It's all fuzzy now. I think... I think it's my time. I love you guys and I am so sorry that I caused ya'll so much pain. But the pain will vanish with me, I promise.

Goodbye

Love, Skye Renee Evans

 Skye was found in her bed at 1:00pm the next day with empty bottles all around her. She is finally happy

THIS WAS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL, I AM NOT SUICIDAL AT ALL. TRUST ME. LIFE IS DA BOMB DOT COM