bound2

Chapter 2: lies, lies, lies

BPOV:
When i saw Lauren and Jessica walk into the bookstore i was honestly freaked.

it had all been too much to process, between edward coming back, jacob, the fight, victoria.

im not sure if you could honestly call it a fight, more like an attack.

I had been so depressed over losing edward, and then i lost Jacob too- i was just a moping zombie all over agian, and it didn't feel good. Lauren had always disliked me because Tyler, her ex boyfriend who accidentally almost smashed me with his van had become obsessed with me Sophomore year. Other than that, i really didn't know what could've brought the fight on.

what made it worse was renee, my mom who i never really saw as a mom- more like a friend, had died 6 weeks prior in a shark accident. Charlie wasn't talking to me, he was upset that i 'hurt' Jacob. i don't know what nonsense billy black had told him, but i just left it be.

on the drive home i had completely spaced out thinking about it all, im not sure if edward even knew renee had died. i don't think i ever mentioned it.

I realized i had been thinking for a long time, and i needed to actually speak before i had a break down, when i looked away from the window to ask edward some small question i noticed he had been looking at me.

"are you alright" he asked hesitantly

i only remembered mumbling something about being tired, and him saying something about getting to bed. i looked at the dashboard clock, and noticed it had been an hour since we had left the port. I realized i had probably just sat there for 20 minutes, because i'd be damned if edward went the speed limits home for the whole hour, usually it only takes 40 minutes.

i made small talk with alice about the wedding, i don't remember much of it. after a little bit i had noticed rosalie and esme had joined us, and it wrapped up fairly fast.

i grabbed a glass of water and headed up the stairs to bed, passing polite goodnights to everyone.

i decided a shower would probably be better, but i couldn't stand the thought of hot water tonight. I noticed that my shirt sleeves were rubbing on my arms weird, and my jeans fray on the inside of my pockets felt weird. I noticed this as the early stages of a panic attack, and decided to get my mind off of it i would just take an icy shower.

EPOV

I could sense her trying her best to act happy, but it hurt me to see her pain.

I had just decided I would bring it up again later, hoping she thought I would forget, when she went up the stairs, she seemed to want to run away from the situation.

I followed her up the stairs into our room, I could see the fear, and guilt were still there, but there was a new emotion, one I had never felt from her.

bella was in the shower for at least an hour.

My concern deepened as I knew she were probably trying to distract herself from something else.....

I paced back and forth, waiting for her to come out, hoping the shower could help ease your stress and make you feel better....but it clearly was not working.

She was hiding something from me, I still couldn't figure out what it was, but it was killing me, and every second that passed my heart grew heavier, and my worry intensified.

she walked out of the bathroom with her hair in a wet, messy bun, she was wrapped in a towel.

There's the most beautiful face in the world, if there were ever a solution to my anxiety...it would be her...but not even her sweet face could alleviate the worries that were killing me.

I gently walked over to her, and pulled her into my arms, taking your wet hair from the messy bun and brushing it with my fingers. "Are you okay?"

"yeah, of course." she shivered "brr, it's cold in here." she said as she walked to the closet.

I followed you over to the closet and started pulling out a warm hoodie for her.

My concern for her was evident all over my face, the fear and concern for you weighed so heavily on my heart.

I pulled it over your wet hair. "Better?"

"much, thank you." she smiled as she gave me a peck on the cheek

I smiled as she kissed my cheek, but my mind still raced, her answer seemed so casual, but was she really okay?

I didn't want her to see my concern and worry, so I decided to push it back, for now....

"Of course, that's what I'm here for" I kissed her forehead, my eyes never leaving hers.

she smiled and walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers

I followed her to the bed, and climbed in next to her, putting my body close to hers.

I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer....I could feel that she was tired and wanted to sleep, but I also felt her eyes were not as heavy as they normally would be.

I brushed her hair aside, and kissed her forehead again....I could feel her guilt, and shame, and pain.....

"Are you sure you're ok?" I whispered into her ear.

"i am." she replied and closed her eyes.

I knew she was lying, but I let it go for the moment, and decided to lie down beside her.

I pulled her close to me, wrapping my body around hers, and kissed her neck gently.

I could sense her body relax with my touch, and her breathing softened with the kisses I gave her, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

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Authors note: short chapters but i wanted to give yall some insight into bella's mind. love you <3