Torn Between Kingdoms

2

“You could at least smile, Rhidian.” My mother’s exasperated voice drifts across the room and straight into my already throbbing head. As soon as the ceremony had finished, she had whisked me away as if I was the last coin created and she was a sneaky thief. Like usual, she is sitting on a plush chair in the corner. Her obnoxious, red dress flowing across her body like a soft-flowing river of blood. Just like I thought she would, she finds amusement in my discomfort; a toothy grin plastered on her face.

“My apologies, Mother,” my voice comes out a little less respectful than I intended, causing my mother to shoot me a sharp look, “I am just tired. You know I do not particularly enjoy being the center of attention.”

“Sorrows. I felt the same way when I married your father.”

My mother could sense my discomfort at the mention of my father. It feels like she uses it against me. To make me crumble at her will. Every moment she has a chance, she finds the need to inform me on how loving their marriage was, and how peaceful they ruled together. That is complete and utter bullshit. If anything, that wench ruled by herself; stealing my father’s spot on the throne right from under his nose.

Desperate to change the conversation to something much less disturbing, I put the last of my clothes into the large trunk set upon my bed, before speaking in a more respectful tone, “Oleander does not seem pleased with this… newfound relationship. In Fact, he seems resentful.” My desperate desire to change the subject does not go unnoticed. slowly, my mother pushes herself up from her comfortable position, and strides up to me. The scents of cedar and red wine fill my senses as she raises a slim hand to my cheek, her long, painted nails lightly pinching into my skin.

“Darling, his feelings on this matter are not relevant. This is for my- our kingdom. All you have to do is sit there and look pretty. Just like we went over.” Her voice comes out in a soft purr; her plump, red lips pulled back in a sweet smile. Seeing her act so soft makes me feel sick, but it is also something I crave. Her approval. Her praise. Her love.

“I understand, Mother. It was stupid of me to even think about that instead of focusing on what is important.” My mother’s smile falters, her mask slipping momentarily before she, like usual, adjusts it into the perfect facade she puts on for everyone else.

“It truly was, Rhidian. Now, you have to understand that this marriage is not just some silly inconvenience for us, but actually a blessing. We need the information about their kingdom, Rhidian; and who would suspect such a sweet, timid man like yourself to be the rat picking apart their walls?”

The muscles in my jaw tick, irritation clouding my mind before I quickly push it away. It feels wrong to take advantage of Vornissia and its people. To manipulate them into giving me the information my Mother so desperately craves and insists that we need.

“Of course, Mother. I understand how… important this is to you and the kingdom. I will not let you or our people down.”

…

The frigid air slaps against my body, causing my hair to fall in front of my eyes. We have been waiting for this damned carriage for almost an hour. Irina is running around trying to make sure I have everything I need. Clothes, money, other essential things like that, but all I can think about is how nervous I am to go to Vorniassia. I was made aware that I would have to live there at the second meeting involving mine and Oleander’s wedding, but I never had time to process it; nor did I have time to process everything else until right now. I wish I could feel the amount of excitement as the rest of the kingdom feels, but I feel empty. How can I feel any kind of excitement when my life has just collapsed like a stack of children’s blocks?

“You have everything, yes? Your coin pouch, your tunics, your-”

Yes, Irina, I have everything. Coin pouch, tunics, trousers, and everything else. You needn’t worry your pretty little head. I am an adult.” I interrupt, giving her a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. It pains me to see her so stressed. She might as well be my mother. Having nursed me since birth, we had grown close throughout my entire childhood.