Hyper-Fic-Sations

An Itty Bitty Problem or Two

Series: Skylanders

Genre: Pure, fluffy comedy

Context: This fic takes place post-Imaginators in a sort of "what the Skylanders are doing right now" kind of way. It has a slice-of-life feel to it and features Fire Kraken, Freeze Blade and Free Ranger stumbling across two infants and deciding to take them in and care for them. Specifically, this chapter is about the discovery by the rest of the SWAP Force.

Notes: As stated in "Not a Failure" we are running in my own continuity however since that continuity is nearly identical to canon, don't worry about that. This story is inspired by the fic "Itty Bitty Problem" by Sundiel260 which is an amazing fic that must  be read. The way it portrays the SWAP Force never fails to make me laugh. I took slightly similar inspirations for the bit on Night Shift from the fic as well. Once more, the real name thing pops up again with Fire Kraken getting real named with "Jade Long" and then "Jié Yùjìn" (surname is underlined) right after. Lastly, there's one instance where Kraken speaks Chinese; I had to use Google Translate so if the translation is wrong, please tell me and I'll correct it.

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Night Shift had just wanted a quiet night. Nothing more, nothing less, just pure, uninterrupted, perfect silence. So, you could imagine his frustration when that silence was rudely interrupted. High-pitched squeals not too dissimilar to that of plastic wrap on plastic wrap pierced his sensitive bat-ears, all coming from the bedroom of the SWAP Force's very own Fire Kraken. He had tried to be patient, but 30 seconds of that auditory agony was too much.

BANG went the bedroom door, crashing down to reveal a incriminating scene, the mission to stop the horrible sound now replaced by what the vampire was seeing. There, with plastic packaging strewn about the floor, stood a purple-goop-covered Fire Kraken, Free Ranger and Freeze Blade, arms full of what looked like a pair of infantile crystalline creatures glowing bright purple. A purple Night Shift knew as the unmistakable shade of Petrified Darkness. All four locked eyes with one another, panic rising as the infants cooed unaware of the brewing storm.

"What...have you idiots done?!" Night Shift demanded. All three glanced at one another, trying to think of an explanation that would not get them murdered. "Um...surprise adoption?" Freeze Blade replied, an anxious smile forming on his face.

"Surprise...-!!!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Kraken screeched. On that cue, all three ran for their lives as the enraged vampire chased after them. Now, Night Shift wasn't a violent maniac, but he was absolutely NOT the Skylander you wanted to anger. Being old and Undead, he had a temper, one that everyone preferred to avoid testing. You see, an angry Night Shift is like an unstoppable troll tank. It locks onto a target and will not give up until defeated, and it may still fight after that. If he wasn't going to snap at you, he'd gladly introduce your face to his glove (only if you deserved it of course...which was often when it came to the SWAP Force). Sure, he could be reasonable, but sometimes, his definition of "reasonable" was deciding that you needed to roll with the punches. And trust us, you would definitely be rolling with his punches.

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Wash Buckler stretched wide. Time for a well-deserved nap.

"JADE LONG, GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Never mind. With a frustrated sigh, the half-awake mermasquid got to his tentacles and trudged into the hall. Panicked screams echoed through as three bodies whizzed past his door, nearly knocking him over and sending him spinning like a top from surprise. Opposite to him was a very confused Stink Bomb, hurriedly buttoning up his pyjamas and smelling strongly of cinnamon and honey. 'Must've been pulled from his bath.' Wask Buckler mused to himself. While Stink Bomb liked to use his skunk spray and smell for fighting evil, he didn't like to stink all the time. In fact, the skunk preferred to smell nice, at least in his downtime.

"What's going on?" the skunk asked as Trap Shadow, Doom Stone and Boom Jet came racing after. Completing the train was Blast Zone, uncharacteristically calm as he strutted up to both Swappers with a look of confusion on his metallic features. "Strange night, isn't it." the furnace knight spoke, earning slow nods from his teammates.

"Yeah, strange is one way to put it. Let's go see what's happened now." Motioning to his teammates, Wash Buckler directed them into the living room. Upon opening the door, the Swappers found themselves face to face with an upside-down Freeze Blade, Trap Shadow cackling in the corner. Boom Jet had since liberated whatever was in Free Ranger's arms as the storm chicken found himself splayed out beneath Doom Stone's hulking form like a deboned chicken roast. Near Trap Shadow hovered an amused Hoot Loop, currently snapping pictures of the mayhem.

"Explain what you mean by "surprise adoption" right now!" Night Shift demanded, empty eyes glaring knives into Fire Kraken's skull as a boxing gloved was raised like the Sword of Damocles high above his head. The poor dragon was cowering on the floor, tail pinned so he couldn't escape. "Please, Shift, we had too! We couldn't just leave them!"

"TIME OUT, TIME OUT, EVERYONE TIME OUT!" Wash Buckler's voice almost shook the room as he barged in. The leader of the SWAP Force was not about to play around with whatever nonsense had happened again. All Skylanders in the room froze in place, some of them even freezing mid-struggle (which Hoot Loop gleefully snapped pictures of). "Now, before you dudes pummel each other to dust, can someone tell me what in the Ancients is going on?"

The rest of the room turned to face the trio. Panicked glances went back and forth between them, tension rising as all three hesitated on speaking. Finally, it became too much and Fire Kraken let the truth spill. "We were on patrol near Mt. Cloudbreak and found a huge stash of petrified darkness and while we were looking for ways to destroy it we heard crying and we found two babies made of pure petrified darkness 有一大群 Greebles 和 Trolls 的巡邏隊，我很確定他們不是邪惡的，但我們不能把他們和這些生物留在一起，所以我們帶著他們逃跑了，然後把他們帶回了這裡，我們已經我整天都在努力照顧他們，但他們太瘋狂了-!!!

"Woah, woah, woah. Kraken, slow down. We can't understand a word you're saying." Wash Buckler lay a suckered hand on the dragon's shoulder. "Breathe, Kraken, and take it slow."

Fire Kraken inhaled sharply, pausing for a moment before exhaling slow. That helped. "Ranger, Blade and I found two babies made of petrified darkness near Mt. Cloudbreak with a bunch of Greebles and Trolls. So we kinda...well...took them."

"And I am assuming that you did not say anything because the infants made of pure petrified darkness, one of the most dangerous substances in all of the known Skylands. And you decided to take them into our base of operations and not tell a soul."

The trio nodded.

"So, you three kidnapped two infants made of Petrified Darkness and didn't tell us." Night Shift repeated.

"Not kidnapped. Surprise adopted." Freeze Blade clarified. The vampire ushered Boom Jet to remove the infants from the scene.

"I hope you three are ready to roll with the punches."

"Can we have some last words?" Ranger asked. He was lucky enough that the vampire had a sense of honor. "Fine." Night Shift relinquished.

Clearing his throat, Kraken volunteered. "If these are our kids, does that make us all daddies?"

"JADE!"

BONK!

"Worth it!"

Author's Note

What Fire Kraken said is:
「Yǒuyī dàqún Greebles hé Trolls de xúnluó duì, wǒ hěn quèdìng tāmen bùshì xié'è de, dàn wǒmen bùnéng bǎ tāmen hé zhèxiē shēngwù liú zài yīqǐ, suǒyǐ wǒmen dàizhe tāmen táopǎole, ránhòu bǎ tāmen dài huíle zhèlǐ, wǒmen yǐjīng wǒ zhěng tiān dū zài nǔlì zhàogù tāmen, dàn tāmen tài fēngkuángle」
"with a huge patrol of Greebles and Trolls and I'm pretty sure they're not evil but we couldn't just leave them with those creatures so we took them and ran away and brought them back here and we've been trying to care for them all day long but they're just so crazy and-"

This was a weird oneshot to write. I say that because I rewrote a lot of it three or four times. So, I'm gonna leave it this way because I think this is the best variation of it. If I can improve it later, I will, but for now, it's good.