As It Was [Emily Prentiss]

Fourteen

"You don't have to do this." Emily assured me for what felt like the billionth time, her eyes on me, watching me carefully.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, my own eyes focused on the large prison set before us. I did need to do this. I needed to face it head on. It had been long enough and why I'd never considered it until my therapist -a therapist provided by the FBI department, thanks to Emily and her boss pulling some strings.

"I do. If I wanna be free of him -of them, then I need to do this."

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

In truth, I really, really wanted her to go with me, but it felt like something I had to do on my own. Emily had already done so much that it wasn't fair to hide behind her forever.

"Hey," She laced her fingers with mine, drawing my attention away from the daunting task. "I love you."

I nodded. "I know, and i- I love you."

She pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. "You got this, Rita. You're gonna go in there and do whatever it is you need to do, and then you're gonna come back here. To me."

I nodded again, trying to smile, but it didn't quite feel convincing. I imagine it didn't look at that convincing either. My hands were trembling and my knees, as I got out of the car, felt like jelly.

My stomach was full of bugs, squirming and writhing in a sick anticipation as I crossed the parking lot and entered the building.

"Good afternoon, Rita. Its nice to meet you." The officer (Officer Reynolds) that met me at the door had previously worked with the BAU and had been in contact with Emily in order to set up the visit.

"If at any time you feel uncomfortable, you knock on the window once, and I'll come let out. He will be shackled and therefore on his best behavior."

"Does he know I'm here?"

The officer nodded. "He's... quite excited, actually."

I wasn't sure how to take that, so I let it hang between us as he walked me down a long hall and finally into a 8x8 room with a single table. The room wasn't nearly big enough, and I felt my skin crawling with anxiety, my chest tight. I took several slow breaths and sat down at the metal slab that would be the only thing standing between me and my rapist.

The thought alone nearly had be high tailing it out of the room, but I curled my fingers into fists against my thighs and continued to breathe through it.

"I'll be right outside when you're ready."

Officer Reynolds stepped outside, the door clicking closed behind him. A moment later, a buzzer went off, startling me, and the door across the room opened up.

I felt my blood run cold, my breath catching in my lungs. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. I'd spent too long seeing him -be it in my dreams, imagination; he'd lived in my head-

and, still, it didn't prepare me. He looked exactly like i remember, albeit a little worse for wear, and he looked like William, because... of course he did. They were identical twins and they'd used that to their advantage. I'd have never known. Adam, I was told, had been the one to show the occasional bit of remorse. William had been the one to chase me down that night, trying to kill me, and nearly succeeding.

Looking at him now, as he lowered himself into the chair across from me, the officer locking his shackled to the floor beneath the table, I found I wasn't as scared as I thought I'd be. He looked harmless. Sad, even.

The bandage across his nose indicated it had recently been broken. I couldn't come up with any sympathy.

"I'm surprised you came. It's been a long time." His voice, now that I understood it had been two different men, was different than William's. How had I not noticed? His voice was smooth and soft, while William's had carried an edge to it.