Close My Eyes and Fall into You

"Are you sure?" Esme asked, keeping their eyes attentively on Juliette, ready to catch the most minimal sign of regret or discomfort.

But, sitting next to her on the edge of their bed, Juliette nodded firmly. "Yeah," she said, looking down at her hands on her lap, where she was idly toying with a silk blindfold. "We wanted to try something new, right?" she asked.

"We don't have to," Esme said firmly while looking at Juliette very seriously, as if they hadn't had this conversation a few times before already.

"I know, Esme," Juliette said with a little smile and leaned in to kiss their cheek.

Her intention had really been just a sweet and innocent kiss, regardless of their current circumstances. But she discovered that her body could not ignore the promise of what was to come, and just the lightest brush of her lips against Esme's skin had both their breath hitching. Esme blushed a little and cleared their throat when Juliette pulled away.

"So, you want this," Esme said, voicing the statement almost, but not quite, as a question. She reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Juliette's ear, then left her hand right there, cradling her jaw, so she could feel her girlfriend nodding against her palm. "Very much?" They asked her, and now their tone was colored by a playfulness that pulled a smile on Juliette's lips.

Juliette closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, trying to soothe her enthusiasm. "Very much," she echoed Esme's words in a whisper and turned her head to the side just enough to leave a kiss on Esme's palm still holding her face.

"Tell me why," Esme asked her. That got Juliette to slightly widen her eyes and look up at her girlfriend. My sweet angel. She had to take a moment to marvel at all the layers and the minimal changes that only she could recognize in Esme's tone. That request, that gentle demand, sparked a fire in Juliette's belly that announced to the rest of her body what was to come. Accurately noticing the effect of their words on their girlfriend, Esme had to insist, to help her focus. "It's the first step," she added with a smile.

Juliette gulped nervously as she watched Esme pick up the blindfold from Juliette's hands. She let go of it easily. It was the first concession of power and control of the night, and it deeply thrilled her. They had planned for this, she had just said she wanted it, it had already started. If Esme wanted her to explain herself out loud again, it was only because it was part of their plan.

"You know I used to have some... apprehension, when it comes to... this," Juliette explained, and not a second after she first looked down at her lap, Esme's tender fingertips were at her chin, tilting her face up to face those infinitely beautiful and deep brown eyes of theirs. "I can get, um, nervous. Or I start overthinking, when we..."

"When we fuck," Esme said, slightly teasing and smiling in a way that showed just the briefest but most tantalizing glimpse of sharp white teeth when she spoke.

"When we have sex, yes," Juliette said in a rushed whisper.

Her eyes drifted to the side, to the familiar sheets of the bed they'd been sharing for months already. A touch of added pressure on her chin got her to look back at Esme's loving and hungry eyes. Esme's thumb brushed her bottom lip and Juliette could have groaned not just at the touch but at the way her body reacted instinctively and her lips parted for Esme. Instead, she took a shaky breath and tried to go on.

"I want to stop worrying and... thinking so much," Juliette whispered. There was no need to elaborate on the long story they already discussed about misinterpreted religion and a lifetime of ingrained shame. Juliette thought about what Esme wanted to hear, she licked her lips, and said, "I want to forget everything else, just focus on you... your touch... how much I want you."