Just a girl

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The year was 1996-a time when innocence still clung to my skin, and the world seemed both vast and intimate. Twin Valley, Minnesota, a speck on the map with a population of 800, held the threads of my destiny. It was here that I met Robert, a man whose name would become etched in the marrow of my bones.

Robert, age 27, possessed a rugged charm that drew me in like your typical textbook narcissist. His eyes however held deep dark secrets-dark corners where pain danced a treacherous waltz.

I was just sixteen, a girl on the cusp of womanhood, when our paths converged. I was young, and invincible-or so I believed.

At the age of seventeen, I left my childhood home, fleeing the ghosts of a broken family. The tragic death of my older sister and the divorce of my parents had scarred me. My parents-once pillars of stability-had crumbled. Their grief morphed into something darker-a transformation fueled by alcohol, screams, and endless fighting. My sister's absence echoed through every piece of me, a void that no amount of tears could fill. Her smiles, and laughter once vibrant, now whispered from the shadows. The trauma etched fault lines across my soul, threatening to swallow me whole.

I attended high school by day, with a part-time job I held at a telemarketing firm at night - that was my lifeline. It helped paid for our tiny rental house, where Robert and I forged a fragile existence. And then, life unfurled a surprise: I became pregnant at seventeen.

Robert promised refuge-a haven that would mend the fractures The threshold felt both terrifying and exhilarating, like standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to leap. So, I packed my dreams and followed him into the unknown.

The year was 1997 and we moved to Fargo, North Dakota, the city lights painted constellations on the pavement. Our rented apartment became our sanctuary-a cocoon where dreams and demons wrestled for dominance. This is when life unfolded in unpredictable patterns.

I clung to education like a lifeline. Education had become my refuge-their pages a canvas where I painted my aspirations. Despite the weight of motherhood, I persevered. Online courses, late nights, and caffeine-fueled determination led me toward an Accounting College Degree. The glow of my laptop screen illuminated my path-a beacon in the darkness.

Robert, danced with employment. His job history resembled a patchwork quilt-stitched together by short-lived positions, fleeting paychecks, and restless nights. He'd vanish into the city's pulse, leaving me with our daughter and my brothers. Their laughter echoed through our living room-my purpose and reason in life.

Nights blurred into mornings. Robert's absence became routine, like the moon slipping behind clouds. His buddies-shadows with names-claimed his attention. He would be gone most nights. They congregated in dimly lit bars, their laughter raucous, their stories woven with half-truths. I'd sit by the window, watching the streetlights flicker, wondering if love could thrive in fractured moments and how this was ever going to work long term.

Robert's words cut deeper than any blade. Verbal abuse became our shared language-the syllables etching themselves into my skin. But Ariel-the embodiment of resilience-kept me anchored. I'd whisper to her, promising a better world, even as Robert's anger simmered.

My mother's face and her hurt and pain that she had shared over the years haunted my thoughts. She, too, had endured- a house of shattered glass. Her love for my father was a paradox-a blend of devotion and resignation. I felt like I was tracing my mom's footsteps in some ways, wondering if that was just the norm and sacrifice was the currency of motherhood. Young and naive, perhaps love meant enduring-even when the storm threatened to drown us.

And so, I just dealt with what came my way from Robert-the man who held both my heart and my bruises. Our daughter's laughter became my lifeline, weaving hope into our fragile existence. Fargo's neon signs blinked messages-some hopeful, some cautionary. The city whispered secrets-of broken dreams, of second chances, and love that defied reason.

In the quiet hours, I'd study balance sheets and equations and spend hours furthering my education. The glow of my laptop illuminated my face-the same face that bore Robert's fingerprints. And as the years unfurled, I realized that love wasn't a straight line-it was a constellation of choices. Robert's demons danced alongside our dreams, and I, like my mother, became a tightrope walker. Ariel watched-the silent witness to our struggle. Her eyes held questions, and I'd answer with whispered promises:

"We'll survive, my baby girl. We'll balance dreams and demons, just as generations before us did. One day my baby girl...one day.




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⏰ Last updated: Jul 09 ⏰

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