Silent Screams

Chapter 7

Life began to move on, but for me, the transition to single life was anything but easy. Adam still called and texted me from fake accounts all hours of the day and night. Sometimes I would respond out of pity, but mostly I just blocked him as fast as I could.

"Good riddance, bitch" he seethed at me over the phone one time. Oh, if only he knew how much sweeter our goodbye was for me.

I despised the suffocating solitude, so I threw myself into the company of many friends. Embracing my newfound freedom, I also indulged in a casual sexual relationship, exploring desires that had felt unsafe and suppressed. It was liberating, and empowering, and for the first time in my adult life, I felt free from the constraints of a toxic relationship. Engaging in casual encounters reminded me of the vast world beyond the confines of my past relationship. It was a revelation, a testament to the abundance of life waiting to be embraced.

To fight the loneliness even harder, I decided to let some friends move into my living room. Despite fighting my urge to clean after them, they helped me fight the urge to talk to Adam. I appreciated their dislike of him, as I was still learning how to dislike him myself consistently.

Another aspect of my healing journey involved rebuilding friendships that had been neglected during my awful relationship with Adam. Freed from his suffocating grip, I reconnected with old friends and forged new bonds, savoring the warmth of genuine connection. 

While building my friendships, there was one that blossomed unexpectedly. Stephen and I had originally been friends back in high school, we had many mutual friends, but we were never particularly close back then. He moved in with Camden one day due to family problems at home, and from that simple change, we started hanging out daily.

I hung out with a lot of friends daily, but I would find myself finding specific excuses for Stephen to come over. There were a few months that went by like this until lingering eyes and touches became more obvious. Our bond grew stronger with each passing day until the unspoken tension between us became impossible to ignore.

One particularly stressful night, haunted by memories and fears, I found myself reaching out to Stephen, seeking solace in his presence. Trembling with vulnerability, I sent a short text, my heart racing as I awaited his response.

"Hey. Can we cuddle tonight casually?" I typed, my fingers shaking with nervous anticipation.

As I watched the screen, his reply appeared almost instantly.

"Otw," was all he said.

As Stephen stepped into my room, I was already nestled in my bed, seeking refuge from the memories that plagued my restless nights. His presence brought a sense of comfort, a reassuring anchor amidst my fears.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, his voice laced with genuine concern as he settled beside me, not quite close enough to touch me yet.

"Honestly?" I hesitated, uncertainty flickering in my gaze as I met his warm brown eyes. He nodded encouragingly, inviting me to share my burdens.

"I've been having nightmares about Adam showing up here again," I confessed, the weight of my words hanging heavy in the air. "I just needed a friend over."

Stephen's lips curved into a gentle smile, his eyes softening with understanding. "You have plenty of roommates, Elle," he pointed out playfully, his tone lightening the somber mood.

"I know," I admitted with a chuckle, "but I couldn't ask them to do this with me." I shifted closer, seeking solace in the safety of his comforting embrace, grateful for his unwavering presence in my time of need. My heart swelled with hope, a sense of security washing over me. In Stephen, I had found a friend who accepted me for who I was, scars and all.