Tuesday 17th, 2011
12:40 PM
Silence. That’s what most of my sessions with Max consisted of.
Silence.
“So,” I look up at him. He’s playing with the ends of his tie, looking nervous. I bite the insides of my cheek to stop a smile from slipping onto my face by how cute he is. “What’s going on with you?”
I blinked. “Uh, nothing new really. I’m just hanging out with friends and spending some quality time alone. Doing things I like, you know.”
He looks up and I’m captivated by his shockingly blue eyes. “What kind of things?”
I blush, a scowl forming on my face when I realize what he thought. “Not those things.” Really, it hurts. It’s like he couldn’t trust me enough. But then again, who could blame him? After everything I’ve done, I’d be pretty worried too.
He sighs nodding. “Can I ask you something and you promise not to beat me up?”
I smile. “Shoot.”
“Can you pull up your sleeves?”
Wow, I really did not expect that. I stopped playing with a loose thread on the skirt and looked up at him, wide eyed. “What?”
“Let me see your arms. I mean with everything that happened with—”
“Stop it,” I said through gritted teeth. “Don’t ever talk about it like you know what happened. You don’t. So stop acting like you do.”
“I was just—”
“I said stop!” I closed my eyes, every memory from that night hitting me like a wave. I hadn’t known. I…it was all my fault. Everything. I deserved to die. My right hand started twitching and I itched to just run the blade over my arms, in any direction. “I have to go,” I said in a low raspy voice.
Maybe it was the fact that he saw I was on the verge of tears or maybe he had finally believed me. I don’t know. All I know is that he let me walk out of the office without another word.
************
I watch, captivated, as my blood drips down into the sink. The whole thing is a deep crimson color and I couldn’t help but to find it beautiful.
At that moment, I regretted not grabbing my camera on my way out of the door. That crimson color clashed with the white, and it gave it such a surreal beauty.
I grabbed the blade in my hand. The harsh words from that night still fresh in my mind.
“You,” he pointed an accusing finger in my direction. “You did this. It’s all your fault.”
“N-No,” my bottom lip is trembling and I can’t seem to stop the tears that are flowing down my face. “I-I d-didn’t—”
“Liar!” He screamed, his spit flying everywhere. “It’s all your fault, you useless piece of nothing!”
“I-I t-tried-d.”
“No, you didn’t. You let it happen. It’s all your fault.”
I shut my eyes tighter. I know that I probably already pierced through my flesh, but that didn’t matter to me. If anything, I probably dug it deeper.
YOU ARE READING
Broken Hearts and Bloody Wrists
Teen Fiction"There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. They aren't just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it's impossible to fix them." Sometimes, you just have to try to...
