Finding You

Chapter 15

Inaya Pov:

When Seb asked me why I was upset and though I wouldn't open up to anyone, I wanted to tell him why my heart ached. I wanted to release this pain somehow. But instead what he says leaves me more hurting. I try not to make a scene in public and walk out of the shop while holding back my tears...Seb's words ring through my ears..."hey, we live in 21st century, why don't you call them up and talk to them? or leave them a text".

And if that wasn't my only wish. My desperate need. To just call or text him. To know how he has been. I walk towards my comfort place and just sit trying to gather my thoughts.

I knew Seb walked behind me and that he sat on the next bench, I was aware of his presence. He made me aware of it. It was nice knowing someone was still there even when I walked out on them. Alan, did that...always. He would never leave me alone even when i ran away from him. And that made me burst into tears.

Seb stayed beside me without saying a word. I don't remember when I stopped crying but when I did I saw him standing next to me, covering me so no one saw me crying. I wipe away my tear and he goes back to his seat. I break the silence between us and say, "Alan left for Europe three days back. I was...no...I am in love with him. Before leaving he confessed too but he has his reasons to not stay with me. I can't call or text him either. He is not allowed to have any contact. I don't know how he is or if he is safe. I haven't been alone like this without him before. I don't know what to do." I let all the thoughts out of my mouth without thinking the man sitting beside me is my potential husband.

He doesn't say a word. Instead just looks at me with a look that I have never seen before on someone...it wasn't of sympathy, but of empathy, maybe. His silence becomes unbearable for me, I look at him and ask, "I look pathetic don't I?. Any guy in his right mind wouldn't want to be with me after seeing me getting crazy over some other guy?" and that's when I see his eyes turn even more soft than before.

"Didn't I look pathetic when I told you about my breakup literally at our first conversation?", his question makes me retaliate back. "But you weren't crying and were a mess like me."

He turns towards me and looks straight into my eyes, "Inaya, I was a mess. I cried just before just before our meeting. Loving is hard. It's even harder when you have to let go of that person who meant the world to you. Crying doesn't mean you are pathetic or crazy. It means that you have emotions that need a way of release. It means that you are willing to get over it someday. I am proud to see how you don't neglect your emotions and rather face them. It's okay to be a mess for the person you love. Don't let other's judgement let you from healing. Loving someone is not in our hands, but getting over them is. It will take time and you have to give yourself that."

His words leave me speechless. I stare at him trying to process and absorb every word that left his mouth. We stare back at the water each in our own thoughts, wondering if one thing had been different, would everything be different?.

A few minutes later when I get a call from my sister and that's when I realise I have been away from home for way too long. I thank Seb for being there for me and tell him that I would head back home. He offers to walk with me but I refuse. I wanted this time just with myself. He respects my choice and lets me go.

As soon as I take a few steps ahead I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the call with hesitation but smile instantly when I hear, "Heyy, it's Seb. Save my number for next time if you want company to cry with. Let's be friends over our love misery" I look back at him and give him a small nod. Smiling after what felt like an eternity, I save his number as potential husband!