watch your back (cameron dallas)

4

As I open my eyes the first thing to fill my vision is white, it's all I can see.

Upon realising I'm lying on my back, I slowly and cautiously sit up - and still, all I can see is white.

I begin to panic and scramble to my feet, though wherever I am is causing me to feel weak and dizzy. I put my arms out, expecting to touch a wall or to at least feel something, but nothing is there. I walk, and when nothing is in my way I begin to run as fast as I can, desperate to find a way out.

At first I'm petrified and all I want to see is colour, to at least reassure me I'm still alive. Though after many pathetic screams and whines, I eventually stop running.

With one last look around me, I sit down out of exhaustion, and against my better judgment I lie down - needing to at least get my breath back.

After many minutes, in the depths of the white I finally find peace and comfort, I feel as if I could lay here forever studying what before was the ordinary, bare colour, but now is the rather misinterpreted, purest and most angelic colour I've ever seen.

Despite the situation I feel myself laughing, the loud rumble is filling the empty atmosphere and no matter how hard I try to stop, I just keep laughing harder. Then, a man is standing over me, leaning close to me so I have a clear view of his face. He is laughing as well, his brown eyes are full of love and happiness, and if I wasn't already uncontrollably smiling, I would.

I stand, prepared to ask a million questions about what is happening. Though, the words won't come out, and we are both laughing with our faces only inches away. Is this what it's like to go insane? Am I crazy?

No matter how hard I try to run and scream like I was before, I just can't. I have no control of my body, and it's the most helpless experience I have ever endured. While having the young man so close to me I'm able to decipher something familiar, I'm sure I must've met him before, I just can't remember when.

As I'm pondering over who this man is, his lips suddenly hold mine captive and our mouths move in perfect sync, like we've done this before. I want to push him off and slap him for being so disrespectful, though again, my body won't cooperate. Instead, I kiss him back passionately and my hands move through his hair. His rough hands begin to feel their way down my body and as they are nearing my behind, I'm screaming in my head, just wanting his hands off my body.

The screams seem to wake my mind up, and I'm brought back to reality. I grasp at the foundation I'm on, to find leaves and dirt in my hand. I look up to see I'm in a forest, and relief washes through me as I realise that terrible nightmare is over.

It truly pains me to admit that I partially enjoyed it - it was exotic, passionate and lustful, nothing I've ever firsthand experienced before. Though at the same time there's a huge knot in my stomach at the insanity of myself lately, what am I even doing here?

I hurriedly jump to feet and fry my brain with ideas of how I got here; but nothing seems to add up. I feel tears out of pure terror threatening my eyes, how on earth did I get here? What's wrong with me, why can't I remember?

Images of fire, glass and my mother whirl in my mind, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I worriedly pace back in forth in the small open area, needing to see my mother and find out what has happened.

Whilst thinking of which way I should go to get out of this forest, I notice a white letter leaning on a nearby tree. As I get closer I see the red heart sticker sealing it, and my heart drops. I fight the new tears pricking at my eyes, when will this end? What did I do to deserve this?

I strongly consider not opening it at all, though again, against my better judgement, I rip it open aggressively and all my memories come back as I read the words.