Please, take my heart💋

The night has come

November 1, 2019

CHAPTER 1*                                                     
        
I am walking down the street and the way has never felt this long before. I wanna run from here I just want to go home but now it's not even my home, is it? He was the home inside that house it's just bricks and paint without him. I can see it now I see a place which used to be my home and I am not sure if I will be able to breathe inside it... I see my feet losing pace now getting slow themselves and I see the sun setting behind all the big houses so delightfully beautiful but at the same time an end, an end to something which was beautiful too.  I feel the first tear sliding down my face from my left eye and I unlock my gate with slightly shaky hands and open the door to my ex magic place... It has photos of all the people I have lost expect Ivan ofc but who knows how long he will be staying too... I untie the laces of my shoes instead of just removing them maybe I just want to make up a pretend story before I see  the stories of my house. I don't wanna break down in the hallway but I can't even help it I am already typing my phone's password which is his name. Another tear slips down my face. My phone is unlocked now and in my wallpaper I see two children so in love kissing each other and I exhale double the amount of air I had inhaled I open chats and see the first one the number is saved with “My  hoodie” and the last text is “I am breaking up with you don't try to reach out to me, I have found someone”. Now after reading it the second time all the emptiness, every tissue, everything in me breaks down into tears. My fiancee of 5 years is breaking up with me because he has found someone else in a different country maybe because he just wants to settle down there but he had already settled with me when we were 3. We have been together since always and that's how we will part right. Something must have been so fucking wrong with me everyone leaves me what am I supposed to live with? How am I supposed to stay in a house with memories of everyone I hve loved and lost haunting me along with my shattered heart and my stupid brain. Enough, get up from here I say to myself but my legs don't listen; no one does I feel ache in my heart more than I feel in my head and my eyes give in and shed tears like they are just made of them and I can feel them making my entire face clammy gliding down my neck and I wipe them with the back of my hand which is shaking and my entire body is shaking and I need something I need to vent it all out but how how how