Someone to Stay

Time

{TRIGGER WARNING: THEMES OF DEATH. Please read with caution.}

"P'Sun, who do we call," I whisper helplessly after I've finally managed to will myself out of staring at the photo of Charlotte's car.

"I'll call P'Van if she knows anything," P'Sun volunteers.

"I'll think of someone to call," I tell him as we hang up the call.

Marima was the first one I tried to contact but she didn't answer. I sent her a couple of text messages to ask her how Charlotte was, which hospital she was in, and to give me a call back as soon as possible. I call Boss next, because if someone knows anything, it'll be him, right? He doesn't answer my phone call too, and I frustratedly huff, as I sent him a text message to call me back once he can.

Finding someone to get information from was helping in keeping my mind off of worrying, but no one was answering my calls which was actually making everything worse. Even P'Sun hasn't called me back.

I call Heidi next and finally, finally, someone answers. "Heidi! I've been calling everyone!"

"Engfa," Heidi greets.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Marima's at the hospital, she's the only one they've let in since she's Charlotte's emergency contact. I don't know much, Engfa, I'm still waiting for her call back now."

"And what has she said, Heidi? I saw the photo, Heidi, please tell me Charlotte's stil-"

"She's alive. They said she got thrown out of the car before it got crushed completely. She was lucky, I mean, as far as luck goes..." Heidi then burst into tears. "Oh my god, my poor Charlotte."

"Heidi, stop it, she's not dead," I reprimand her. 

We shouldn't be crying, crying means we believe something bad is going to happen. And everything was going to be okay, Charlotte was alive, so everything was going to be okay. I'm not gonna cry since she's going to be okay.

-

It's been a week since Charlotte's accident and Marima's been texting me updates since then. Charlotte has undergone multiple surgeries for her injuries and everything has been healing well. She hasn't woken up though, and has been in a coma for the past week. Brain swelling, they said. She wasn't allowed any visitors yet either- both decided on by her doctors and her parents. No one except her parents and Marima has seen her for the first days.

True to my word, I haven't shed a single tear. I've resorted to other coping habits though, habits I wasn't really proud of, habits that will likely have Charlotte disappointed at me. But she wasn't here, so I'll cope how I want to cope.

A knock on the door forces me to abandon my spot from the couch, it wasn't P'Daad since she has a key. I don't really know if anyone's texted me to tell me they were coming since I haven't looked at my phone since this morning.

I open the door, wine glass in my hand, not really caring who it was, and not really caring if he/she sees me as I am. It was just P'Sun though, and I let him in to my messy condo. P'Daad's been coming for the past few days to bring me food to force me to eat, but she said she's not going to clean up for me. I think she's using tough love, and I also think she doesn't really know what to do with what's happening with Charlotte now so she's just trying to cope like me. Charlotte was her friend, even when things went south with me and Charlotte, they remained as such, and my sister didn't even choose a side between the two of us. She just kept us two.

"Are you sure you should be drinking when you're taking that other medication of yours again?" P'Sun ask as he motions towards the wine glass in my hand.