touch, taste & tremble

- 10

She still counts the Friday's. Aeri and Yizhuo have long since given up on convincing Jimin to stop being a masochist and find Minjeong. But besides her initial fear when she realized she was in love, besides her refusal to jump into a new relationship right after her previous one ended, Jimin decided not to find Minjeong because it didn't feel right. She felt like Minjeong deserved better. Better than someone who had left her hanging for a month.

Hell, months. Because even before everything went to shit, she was leading Minjeong on. She was pretending there was nothing but sex between them, even though some days she simply wanted Minjeong's company more than anything else.

Minjeong deserved someone who wasn't going to hide their feelings for her, and Jimin didn't feel like she could be that person. Even now that she had no reason to hide them anymore.

But she still counts the Friday's. Still counts all the weeks she's been without Minjeong. It feels a little like penance.

__

The time Jimin spent frantically painting after the last time she was with Minjeong, and the time she spent after that – feeling more creative than ever – have resulted in Jimin's biggest exhibition to date.

Looking around her gallery she feels proud, more so than she ever has before. Each of the pieces displayed are gorgeous and almost none of them are in the same style or theme. There's something for everyone. It's a diversity she never really thought herself capable of.

The exhibition is a full house, with people even waiting outside to be let in. She sold four paintings within an hour of opening. Jimin feels giddy. But there's another part of her, a constant voice in her head, that's beckoning her to constantly look around the room, always in search of a familiar face.

Instinctively she knows Minjeong won't come. And she has honestly no idea how she would respond if she did. She wants to see her, craves to hear her voice or feel her touch again, but she's also scared. And unsure of what she'd even say.

So every time she looks around and doesn't spot Minjeong, she is both disappointed and relieved. It's often a dull feeling, considering the night is going so well and she's mostly occupied with talking to guests who are eager to buy pieces. Nearing the end of the evening almost every painting has a little orange dot stickered on the frame, signifying its status as sold.

As the crowd slims and the room becomes pleasantly quiet, the feeling of missing Minjeong becomes stronger. She can only imagine how excited she'd be for Jimin, how proud. Her chest aches with the knowledge, and loss.

"Hey," there's a soft hand on her shoulder and Jimin turns to see Aeri smile gently at her. She squeezes her hand, silently thanking for all the help that evening.

"Hey."

"The last guest just left, so Yizhuo and I are going to head home too, okay?" Jimin nods. They had agreed to clean most of the stuff up during the last hour of the exhibition and leave the rest for the next morning.

"Thanks for everything." Jimin smiles.

"Anytime." Aeri nods, clearly wanting to say more but hesitating. Eventually, she sighs, her shoulders slumping. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Jimin knows what she means, knows Aeri and Yizhuo must have seen her looking around, searching. She's torn on what to say. On the hand she is, on the other she isn't. She hasn't really been okay for months, but she's slowly getting there. Painting and selling and actually being able to live off her hobby are helping her be okay. Aeri and Yizhuo are helping her be okay. She isn't quite there yet, but she's confident that one day she will.