essence of love

33 : guilt & remorse, again.

— ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧ Rayyan's Pov :

What the fuck, Rayyan?

What were you even trying to do?

I'm so fucked up right now! My anger got the best of me since last night after what I saw, and I couldn't control myself.

I did something disgusting to Sehmat, and I feel like I should be condemned for it.

I slammed my hand on the steering wheel forcefully and let out a hiss. A heartache formed in my chest, squeezing it tightly.

The image of my filthy hands on Sehmat's neck flashed back in my mind, making me want to cut my hand off and throw it away.

Seeing her worn-out, teary eyes made me want to stab myself and die for what I did.

I can't hurt my clumsy señora. No, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it. I wasn't thinking when I did that.

If I had control over my thoughts, I would have ended my own life before even laying a finger on her.

I felt a wave of remorse wash over me for what I did to her, but in the next second, the realization hit me that she had cheated on me with Kamil by sneaking out of the house.

She definitely cheated.

My jaw clenched at what I witnessed yesterday, I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, causing my knuckles to turn pale.

As flashbacks started erupting my mind.

It was 1 am, and Ashan and Sehmat were fast asleep, but I couldn't seem to catch any sleep myself. I got out of bed and started searching for a scented candle to light up the room.

And there it was, sitting on Sehmat's side table. As I walked over to grab the scented candle, I noticed her phone buzzing with the caller ID showing her ex-fiancé, kamil.

All of the sudden I felt my heart sinking and my stomach twisting into knots.

My eyes narrowed, my jaw clenched, and my whole body tensed up. I felt a mix of anger, hurt, and disbelief all at once.

why the fuck is he calling her? And that too at 1am?! What could it be?

I couldn't resist the temptation of picking up the call, so I did. I didn't say anything on my end, and he let out a deep sigh.