23:23
You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feelings overwhelming, it's much too strong
Can I lay by your side
Next to you, you
And make sure you're alright?
I'll take care of you
And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight...
"Uuwi na ba tayo?"
She whispered to me while lying down on the hospital bed. I couldn't help but cry upon hearing and seeing what I do now. She's struggling, and I know she's tired. And I also know that she can't go on anymore, but I can see in her eyes that she's fighting.
"Ayef, sorry."
Tears continued to flow from both of my eyes. I felt weak, and I couldn't help but shed tears over what was happening. She sat on the bed, leaning her back against the soft pillow on her hospital bed. Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang kanyang magkabilang kamay, ramdam ko ang pagpatak ng mga hula niya sa aking mga kamay.
"Isaac, punta tayo sa church kahit ngayon lang? Puwede ba?"
She pleaded with me. I reached into my pocket and took out a white handkerchief to wipe away the tears from her eyes. I couldn't bear to see her like that. Without hesitation, I decided to accompany her and go to the church, even though it was late at night.
Kinuha ko ang bag niya at inabot sa kanya ang pamalit upang makaalis na kami. Ngunit hindi niya tinanggap ito.
"Hindi na ako magpapalit, bagay naman saakin ito e. Para nga akong nakapantulog e."
She said with a smile. Pero nakikita ko sa magkabilang mata niya na nahihirapan na din siya sa sitwasyon niya. I didn't force her to change and let her wear the hospital gown on our way to the church.
We went out to where Ayef's room was. I held onto his IV stand while his left hand held onto my arm as we exited the hospital. We arrived at the nearby church and headed to the very first seat in the front. Nauna siyang umupo saakin at tumabi ako sa kanya habang hawakhawak ko ang IV stand niya.
Nakita kong pumikit ang mga mata ni Ayef, at makikita sa kanyang mga mata na pagod na pagod na siya sa sitwasyon niya. Sinabayan ko si Ayef na magdasal, at dali dali kong kinuha ang rosary na binigay saakin ng lola niya. Napatingin ako sa aking relo at nakita ko na 23:23 na.
"Lord, please have mercy and give Ayef another chance. She deserves to live. Ang bata pa niya para mamatay. We still have many dreams that need to be fulfilled. Please don't take her away from us yet. I beg you wholeheartedly."
Pero ganyan talaga ang buhay, dadating at dadating tayo sa point na mamamaalam din tayo sa mga taong nagmamahal at nagaalala saatin. Sometimes life can be unfair and unpredictable, and it's natural to wonder why certain things happen to certain people. It's important to remember that illness doesn't discriminate and can affect anyone, regardless of how kind or joyful they may be. It's okay to feel frustrated and upset, Pero kahit anong magyari nasa tabi mo lang ako Ayef during your challenging time.
Narmandaman ko ang mga kamay ni Ayef na humawak sa mga kamay ko. I witnessed her take the white handkerchief that I used to wipe away her tears earlier. She then used it to gently wipe away the tears from my eyes.
"Isaac, tama na."
"Okay na ako."
It's difficult to see Ayef in pain and it can be heartbreaking when I unable to protect them from it. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, life presents challenges that are beyond our control.
"Issac"
"Thank you so much, you never left me during my difficult days I went through. The word 'thank you' is not enough to express my gratitude for your sacrifices for me. You know, no matter how many times I die and come back to life, ikaw at ikaw parin ang hahanapin at pipiliin ko kahit anong magyari, imposibleng mangyari pero hahanap ako ng Isaac na katulad mo na andyan lang sa tabi ko at kahit anong magyari hindi ako iiwan at pababayaan."
I cried even more with what she said, is she saying goodbye? I don't know what to do. I held her hands and hugged her tightly. The kind of tightness that no matter how much she struggles, she won't be able to escape from that embrace. Tears kept falling behind her worn hospital gown.
"Isaac, pagod na ako."
Inalis ko siya sa mahigpit na yakap ko. At ngumiti at tiningnan siya. Humarap kami sa unahan ng simbahan. At naramdaman ko na sinandal niya ang kanyang ulo saaking balikat.
"Isaac, mahal na mahal kita."
"Tulog muna ako ha."
I felt my heart ache when I heard those words from her. I can't bear to lose her in my life. I don't know how I can live without her. I love her so much.
After a few hours of being there in the church, we were about to leave but Ayef didn't respond or even move from where she was sitting. Para akong nabuhusan ng sobrang lamig na tubig, at tuluyan na nga siyang namaalam.
I lifted her and held onto her IV stand. I ran out of the church and quickly rushed Ayef to the hospital where she was admitted. The nurses hurriedly followed us as they saw us heading towards the hospital.
Ayef was placed on a stretcher and quickly taken to the Emergency Room. I didn't leave by her side and stayed with her as she was being transported to the ER. However, they stopped me and didn't allow me to enter the ER.
I looked at him/her through the mirror on the door of the ER and saw that his/her hospital gown was torn and nakita ko na nilapit sakanya ang defibrillator machine.
"Charge 200 joules."
"Shock!"
I saw on the vital sign monitor that her heart rate and blood pressure were dropping, and as time went on, they continued to decrease until they flatlined.
Ayef Louise Enriquez
Time of Death
00:00am
