Axel shook his head right after he passed his right hand through his hair, as if he could get away from that idea which stiffened his muscles. He stretched out his arms and yawned with the thought that was chasing him since he couldn't remember: emotions, feelings. Now that he was a nobody, he was supposed to not feel. Or rather, he mustn't have supposedly felt.
However, there were those moments when he was alone in dark corridors, going here and there but appearing to be going nowhere. And in these he usually asked himself the same thing: “Why? Why am I doing this? Do I have a heart? What if I don’t want one? But what does it really mean to want something?”
“You look distracted this morning.” He heard Saïx’s voice behind his back. “I wonder why.”
“Should I tell you?” He asked, turning back and facing him.
“Yes.” He responded firmly.
“Is that an order?” He frowned.
“Maybe.”
“What do you want, Saïx?” Axel asked with a raspy voice. “Just tell me. Don't wanna waste my time.”
“Roxas is your partner today. Just collect hearts at Hollow Bastion's castle, then come back.” He ordered with an empty glance.
“I'm a nanny again? Why do I always get the dirty jobs?” He complained. “Call Demyx and gimme a better mission.”
“Do I look like I care about your complaints? Go away and take Roxas with you.” He raised his voice.
“Do I look like following your orders?” He replied with an ironic smirk.
“You don't? Well… That could be fixed.” Saïx threatened him with a look and his claymore appeared.
“You're a drama queen.” He laughed.
“You're a pain in the ass. And here we are.” He rolled his eyes.
“I want something to destroy but alone.” He confessed as if he could change his mind. “Give me that. I need it.”
“You need it?” He narrowed his yellow eyes. “Look at you, saying you need something. Pretending you have a heart. How pitiful.”
“Pitiful? Look at you, being Xemnas’ bitch. That's pathetic.” He spitted out.
In a blink of an eye, Saïx threw him to the corner of the room with a single blow. Axel remained on the ground, recovering, and spitting out a few drops of blood.
It was strange how they used to be best friends before becoming nobodies and now they couldn’t be in the same room, even though they were supposed to not feel any emotion. Axel remembered when they used to sneak around, playing games, and sharing the most intimate moments. At night, when everything disappeared in the dark, they looked at the moon and confessed their secrets, and made some promises that they had broken the very first day they were born as nobodies.
Maybe they couldn’t feel emotions, but what Axel could swear was that his bones ached every time he looked at Saïx in the eye and couldn’t see Isa anymore. It was a shame that he only left behind a shadow of what he was when they were together.
But Saïx could tell the same. Every time he looked at his green eyes, he didn’t recognize that guy who used to be his entire world. Now, he was only a weapon, a puppet he could use for his own convenience until he would stop being useful anymore. Then, he would be determined to destroy him.
“Is that all, Saïx?” Axel asked after removing the blood traces from his mouth.
“Do you want more, Axel?” He replied with his eyes turning white.
Saïx was about to beat him again, when someone suddenly appeared.
“Why are you fighting now, kids?” Xigbar asked, almost laughing. He stayed between them.
“Disobedience.” Saïx said, with his eyes recovering his natural color.
“Disobedience, huh? Pretty lame even for you two.” Xigbar replied, shaking his head. “Why don't you go to do your shit and stop this nonsense?”
“Go to Hollow Bastion's castle and take Roxas with you. Then collect hearts and go back.” Saïx ordered before going to leave the room. “Now, stop wasting my time or I'll punish you again and the next time, I won't hold back.”
“Oh, wah. I'm SO scared.” Axel imitated a baby's cry.
“Looks like he's not in the mood today.” Xigbar laughed.
“As if we could be.” He pointed out, staring at him.
“Fair enough.” Xigbar nodded.
“I better get going.” Axel disappeared by entering a dark corridor.
YOU ARE READING
Hollow (Kingdom Hearts AU)
Fanfiction"We can't feel. That's what they told us. Then... Why does everything look so different when I'm alone? Why does the ground look like it disappears and I'm losing myself in a sea of doubts?"
