Hollow (Kingdom Hearts AU)

Chapter two

Working with Roxas was therapy sometimes. He was a kid when he was born as a nobody and didn't understand what it really meant. And that was funny as hell for Axel. He could tell the craziest thing that Roxas would take it as real. But those moments were crucial for his continuous mental breakdowns: how could he tell that it was funny? He was supposed to not experience any type of feeling. Then… Why did he laugh every time he messed with Roxas over and over? It didn't make sense.

“Seems you have new  friends.” Axel joked, pointing out a group of heartless behind his partner.

“Oh. Right.” Roxas nodded and attacked them without hesitation.

A few seconds later, the boy exterminated a group of enemies, while Axel was sitting in a corner and wondering what time was. The only thing he could tell was that the light entered from a broken crystal of one of the stained glass windows, creating different colorful shapes on the ground. That contrasted with the dark aesthetic of the place, which was almost in ruins.

He let his eyes wander over the place, noticing how the colossal castle was almost devoured by the darkness and deteriorated because of the time too. That was the reason why he couldn't recognize it on his first visit after he had become a nobody. He had almost fallen over his knees when he discovered what his home had turned into.

With that memory on his mind, he stayed looking around, while feeling as if some invisible thing was trying to push him until he hit the ground. He sighed, also feeling exhausted for the perpetual belief that he wasn't able to feel emotions, but the physical pain was even worse.

“It's weird…” Roxas whispered suddenly.

“What?” Axel asked confused.

“We don't feel, right? But it's strange because since we got here I really felt something. It's hard for me to breathe and my chest is pounding so fast. I know it sounds crazy but… I don't know how to explain it.” He confessed, avoiding eye contact.

“We do feel some things.” Axel explained. “We feel pain for example.”

“Pain? So… What's happening to me is that I feel pain here?” Roxas touched his chest.

“Yes.”

“But… Why?”

“Maybe you need to burp.” Axel joked.

“To burp? Eh, no!” He answered loudly. “It's more than that!”

“Let's get going.” Axel smirked.

“But help me!” He insisted, acting as if was a child.

“Do you want me to help you burp?” He grinned.

“You're mean, Axel.” He pouted.

“I am not.” He refuted, opening a dark corridor. “Let's go. I want to sleep.”

“You want… That means you feel exhausted?” He followed him. “We have physical reactions, right?”

“Yeah. That's it.” He responded while walking next to him. “We can't feel something like sadness or happiness. That's the difference.”

“Oh… I see.” He murmured. “And if we get a heart, we will be able to feel happiness, right? That's the reason we fight and collect hearts.”

Axel nodded. But the same question came to his mind again: “Do I really want a heart? Am I even able to want something?” He looked at his partner in silence and wished he could be like him. He was so unaware of organization XIII’s secrets, he didn't question their orders and understand what really meant to be a nobody. Then why couldn't Axel do the same?

He sighed again and walked until they reached the Organization XIII’s castle. Surprisingly, it was quieter than usual. Axel guessed that everyone was doing their missions. So, he decided to say goodbye and walk straight away to his room.

“Axel.” Roxas stopped him. “Thank you.”

“Why?” He frowned.

“For… Well, you didn't judge me.” Roxas confessed, staring at him. “I'm sure the others would. But you didn't. So I think I have to thank you”.

“Um… Okay.”

He walked away without giving him a simple smile or some reaction. Instead, he had no expression on his face. Maybe the reason was the same as the mantra he repeated everyday: “We don't feel. We are free of emotions. Emotions are stupid.”