I woke up feeling abated and scared from a non sense dream. What I dont know for sure is rhe reasons for this feeling. I also woke up looking at my mom's picture. I also miss her. The dream, was strange. One part is my brother the other part is my boyfriend. I connect these two people in one. One part is the physical person the other is the behaviour of my boyfriend.
It is quite revolting the fact that our subconscious saves too much from our childhood fears, experience that follows me even at this age.
I never dealt well with the idea of alcohol. So many bad things i have seen from my past with alcohol. First is the fact my father used to be alcoholic and my mother told us the story of how he used to be and do. But also you grow up seeing at every corner someone completely lost on the street. It is something that you save in your memory. So, i never want to see my close ones connected to these things
But my bf used to drink a lot when he meets his friends ( 2- 3 /year) or more depending how often they meet. To be honest i value his friendships and got very happy for meeting them. But now I dont have the same lust to see them or meet with them. Why drinking this much?
But then next time, after cooling down, I reframe my thoughts and wrote him. I used a different perspective, and acknowledged that his childhood friends are important and part of him. We are the one that set our own limits when them. He openly and as a great doer he replied " if drinking is the only thing that keeps us together than i need to rethink my friendships"
I smiled
YOU ARE READING
Where is home
RandomI often feel things and I suddenly cry for not knowing where home is or what i am feeling. Does it always connect to my father? Then who or what makes someone your father? This book is the voice of my head in finding the answer for the 33 years of m...
