Please, take my heart💋

Untouchable

CHAPTER 20*                                                                        
We complete our model in the rest of the day finally finally finally and now I am so exhausted I don't know what's wrong. I didn't tell Ivan because his condition was already worse than me. It's 11pm right now and I have nothing to do, I am exhausted badly but I am not able to sleep. Something is definitely wrong with my body, I get up and check my temperature I don't think it will be high because I took the medicines and exer--holy shit it's 102F. No wonder I was feeling something is wrong. If it stays like this I will have to go for a check up. I go for my water bottle and as soon as I drink water it feels like it goes in the wrong track and I can't breathe anymore. I am coughing badly and tears are sliding down my eyes, suddenly there is blood on the palm of my hand with which I was covering my mouth. I grab my phone to call my doctor and I put it on speaker. When the ring is answered I barely manage to say Greetings doctor, can I visit right now I am not able to breathe properly I think I choked on water and I just vomited blood and I have high fever again. "It's me Iris, what the fuck, what's going on, stay there I am coming". He hangs up the phone and I rush to the bathroom, I keep coughing and there is a green sputum excreting out of my mouth and there is blood. I am feeling so dizzy I feel like I will fall to the ground but the cough prevents that. I keep vomiting blood and sputum until my throat is aching badly with pain. I am trembling now. I brush my teeth and try to go to my bed. I try to speak but my voice makes me want to never speak again. I cough again but it's better this time, my eyes still get watery and this time there is just slight blood. My doorbell rings and I am not sure if this is a good idea. I nearly crawl to the door and I am still coughing when I open my door. Ivan comes inside and hug me, I am still coughing and I know hugging is not a good idea. I push him back but he tightens his grip. I say, "I am coughing blood and there is no guarantee there won't be sputum anytime sooner, the blood is already there please just let me go". After saying this I feel shortage of breath and my chest moves heavily and I am not able to breathe and my chest is paining like it has been stabbed. My voice was more like a tremble and it was so filled I barely managed it without vomiting. "I don't mind anything as long as I am close to you" I shut my eyes then and Ivan strokes my back and my head as my coughing decreases and finally stop. I had kept my hand on my mouth so there's just blood there and I thankfully didn't ruin his white t-shirt. He kisses the top of my head and I get real tears this time. Ivan moves aside and I go to wash my hands. When I come out he is still standing and when he sees me he starts moving towards the door. He opens it and gets out, I just stand there, he didn't even say goodnight to me is he mad or something? Just that moment he peeks inside with raised eyebrows and says, "come" "where" "to the doctor ofc" Okay I am a complete idiot as I walk to the car I suddenly feel my head is too heavy and I almost trip. Ivan keeps his arm on my shoulder and hold me with a tight grip. No one speaks on the way to the doctor but Ivan holds my hand tightly the entire way and I feel like the act says more than a million words.-------"Get a chest x-ray first, near drowning results in several lung infections, the cough and the fever might be a symptom. It's better if it gets diagnosed early because if it gets bads survival chances are just 28%. Get these antibiotics, you might get the x-ray report tomorrow morning. I will examine it and then I will give proper medications to her, she might feel dizzy a lot so let her get as much rest as she can." I am sitting in doctor's office and I can hear him talking with Ivan outside. What was the fun of going outside if I could still hear it. I don't have anyone to blame other than me, I got so fucking impulsive and ended up passing out in water. I would have drowned if Ivan hasn't saved me and I don't even know if I am still saved completely. Ivan gets in the room and I can see he is trying to hide is internal struggle. "He said you will have to get a chest x-ray then he will give proper medications, this might be due to near drowning." I nod and get up, the entire way to my place the only sound in the car is of me coughing, hopefully I don't vomit because of antibiotics.