Please, take my heart💋

I only see daylight daylight daylight daylight

Chapter 27*                                                                            
I have left the door to my home open and when Ivan rings the doorbell and it's not answered he comes anyway. I did it purposely just as he enters I come out of my porch and enter too, Ivan already in my room calling for me. I tip toe in the house and try to make no noise while breathing and do a knock like thing on his shoulder. He was standing beside the door so I hide behind it when he turns to look who it was. He calls out for me again and I barely try to control my laughter so I come out and burst into laughter and he just stares at me leaning against the door. His head is tilted and lips curved into a faint smile and I am not able to control my laugh after seeing his sarcastic face and he chuckles just once and takes a step closer to me and I call out his name just like he was calling me when I was just behind him. He gives me eye roll and try to move past me, I try to keep my arm around his neck and fail due to the height difference. "I am sorry", I say with a countenance not sorry at all. He asks, for what and I say because I played with you. His gaze falls to my mouth and he says, "play with me again" and I make a sound of huh just as he leans closer his lips just close enough to kiss the corner of my mouth and he says barely in a whisper, "if it makes you laugh, play with me for as long as you want". I feel his breath on my lips and I get an urge to breathe it in. I feel a rush of adrenaline within me and my brain sends me impulses to move a step closer and take away his breaths but at the same time my heart has no more capacity to beat faster than it already is. I am staring at his lips with an unknown feeling in me and he knows it, he is aware of it but moves back anyway. My eyes fall into his for just a second but I break the eye contact which was too intense for me to maintain. He goes in the kitchen, I trail behind him and ask what are we eating. He replies with yet another question, "what do you want to eat?" I think for a second and exclaim Chinese. A while ago I was rambling about how there's no good thing I am allowed to eat and my mouth is depressed with the deprivation of every good thing. I remember his gaze on my mouth at that time and I guess I particularly said this to be rewarded by this gaze. It might make me a stone cold traitor but I won't deny I am attracted to Ivan. I am just not ready to acknowledge it and I don't think I will be ready for an emotional connection ever but physical it is, I am sick, sick of touching myself and picturing that one person I should never fantasize about. Later Ivan promised to let me eat whatever I want when he will ask me this question and now here we are starting with my most favourite Chinese dish the most basic-: "manchurian". Although Ivan is an expert in making them, today I will be the one cooking. I am that kind of cook who would mess up maggi by pouring too much water and then get bored and not finish making it. Travis used to do it right for me but no he is no one for me now, I am with the best chef and I want him to guide me like he was guiding Lowen maybe while planting a sapling. I tell him my plans skipping the Lowen part obv. Fortunately, I had the things required at home so we waste no time and start collecting it all. Ivan grabs a bowl and pours the white flour in it while I collect the vegetables from the fridge. We both distribute them into half and start cutting them. He tells me in which way it is supposed to be done and I think I do everything fairly well. When I am about to finish I glance at Ivan who was now staring at me having chopped off his veggies and since I wasn't able to look away from him I almost consider my hand as a capsicum itself. We both glance at my finger which just got a small cut unfortunately and I know I would be considered the  weirdest person alive but it's true that I like being hurt maybe only physically. Just as he is about to rush towards me I show him that it's alright and when he is done inspecting we suspend our trays to put the veggies in the bowl. Ivan shows me the way they are supposed to be mixed with the white flour and so I roll up my sleeves and we both start to mix the entire thing with our hands. The bowl being extremely small makes me experience the caress of pink semi solid covered fingers of Ivan several times and I like the feel of it. After a min or two Ivan grabs a bit of batter and make a ball out of it. I do the same, and we do it till there's none left in the bowl. I fry them all till the time Ivan prepares the gravy, I know I wanted to cook myself but it's not my cup of tea, I can only do this much so when I take the first one out Ivan quickly grabs it and then drops it with a groan probably because it was too hot. He is shaking his hand and then puts it in front of my mouth and says blow. The act excites me but I ask him anyways, "why can't u do it yourself?" and he replies,"I am too hot, can't burn my poor fingers more" I look at him for second, give an eye roll and do the task, something snaps in me then and I end up confessing, "you didn't lick my finger when I got a cut though". " You would have rushed to scrub your finger if I did that" he teases and I blurt barely in a whisper, " I didn't brush my mouth after you kissed me ". He hisses, "what?", I shake my head and then notice a little tinge of pink on Ivan's finger but then I get a glimpse of his face, it has more.