Roses Have Thorns

Prologue

What would you do if you knew the world was ending in 48 hours? Would you rob a bank, spend your last moments with the ones you love, or perhaps you'd go out and party? A last hurrah, if you will. The answers vary depending on the person you ask, but I've never heard someone say they'd spend the time alone.

Why is that? Is it because deep down we all crave companionship? Or could it be because we all secretly share the innate fear of dying alone?

I realize how stupid that fear is. We all die alone. Regardless of whether you have someone by your side when you go or not... You are going by yourself. We enter this world alone and we eventually leave alone. Every last one of us. It's an unavoidable truth.

Regardless, I'd say I would spend the time with my loved ones.

48 hours?

It seems like such a short amount of time. In the grand scheme of time, it is only but a bead on the intricate necklace of life. However, a lot can happen in that short blip. Trust me.

48 hours...

If it was only your world that was going to end, what would you do then? Would your answer change? How drastically would it change, if at all? And if it would...what would it change to?

I sigh and sit down at the edge of the rooftop. My feet hang off the edge, dangling carelessly above the streets below. They have no idea of what awaits them.

I imagine the drop. The feeling of uncertainty I would most definitely have after I do jump almost makes me want to leave.

I imagine the headrush I would get as I plummet downwards and the feeling of finality filling my gut as I near the rough slabs of the sidewalk.

I wonder what position I would end up in. What part of my body would hit the ground first? I think about if I would lose consciousness before I feel the last crushing blow. Or would life continue to torture me till the very end? Dooming me to feel everything as I land. Would I land on something other than a sidewalk or would concrete be the last thing I would ever feel on my skin? What kind of a scene would it make? How many people would I traumatize in my attempt to stop the suffering? 

I scoot forward.

I find it's much easier to jump if you opt to scoot off instead. Kind of like the first time I used a diving board, as a child. I remember my father, red in the face, as he yelled "Just do it already, God Damnit!" It was my 3rd attempt. After that, it became easier to do. I realized it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would have been. There was a sense of peaceful bliss before my body hit the water and a calmness spread over me after I was submerged.

I wonder if that is how it will be as I drop, this time around.

I remember how uncertain and fearful I was back then. Not very suitable for a young man, or at least, that's what my father always said. Looking back now, I can see I haven't changed much. Always afraid of the unknown. And, as I stare down at the biggest unknown I have ever faced...

48 hours sounds like a really good idea.