still good

vi

Lisa doesn't call on Sunday, just sends a few texts. Chaeyoung can't help but be disappointed, but she keeps her tone light whenever she replies.

Lisa is distant during the week too, and Chaeyoung doesn't know how to breach the topic of talking to Elio without coming across as pushy. She retreats to her studio instead to wait it out, hoping that things will be different once the weekend rolls around.

She misses Lisa and Elio in the meantime, the beginnings of a routine that they were forming. She fills those hours with work instead, then finds herself with too much free time in the evenings.

She doesn't even realize how much free time until she's scheduling dinner with her mother, who she's only spoken to on the phone for months now. Her mother is perpetually busy, which is the way she likes it now that Chaeyoung is out of the house and Jake is gone, but on Thursday night she finds herself at a nice little restaurant close to the hospital, spilling the whole situation to someone she'd only given dribs and drabs to up to this point.

Her mom is mostly quiet throughout the whole thing, sipping from her wine glass and watching her daughter with quiet solemnity.

At the end of it all Chaeyoung stops and rests her forehead in her hands.

"Honestly honey it sounds like you know what you want," Claire says.

Chaeyoung looks up at that, pleasantly surprised.

Claire continues. "Lisa is the one who's unsure. She has a lot more variables in her life."

Chaeyoung looks at her mother, really looks at her. They're both adults with adult lives and problems and she feels like she can ask a question more as a peer now, rather than the daughter of an overprotective yet distant mother. "Why didn't you ever date again after dad died?" she asks.

Claire's eyes widen, just a bit, but she muses over the question without seeming to be hurt by it. "I did date," she says after a moment.

It's Chaeyoung's turn to sit back in her chair, completely taken by surprise. "Why didn't you tell me? When was this?"

"When you were in college," Claire says. She fiddles with the stem of her wine glass. "The first few years after your dad died I threw myself into my work, but once you were in college and the house was empty...I guess I realized how lonely it was."

"So you...I mean, who was it? Was it someone I know?" Chaeyoung asks, more intrigued than anything. They're not close, not the way Chaeyoung and her dad were close, but they reached a detente after Chaeyoung graduated and Claire finally realized how much she'd pushed Chaeyoung away while dealing with her grief.

"A couple of someones," Claire admits.

Chaeyoung mock gasps. "Mom, do you have a reputation now? Are you being safe?"

Claire laughs. "Unintended pregnancy hasn't been an issue for me for a while, honey. And you did know one of them. Haneul Kang."

Chaeyoung's gap is real this time. "Uncle Han? Are you serious? How long?"

"About six months," Claire says fondly. "It was nice, but I think Jake was it for me. I'm happy with my work, and with you."

Chaeyoung's smile is small but happy, and she enjoys being the sole focus of her mother's regard for a few moments.

"Are you happy?" Claire asks. "I mean generally, not just with Lisa."

Chaeyoung nods.

"That's good." Claire pats her hand. "If Lisa makes you happy, then do what it takes to keep her in your life."